


Hello My Old Heart

by DadchiNSFW



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Night Stands, Single Parent AU, Slow Burn, Smut in every chapter, past daichi/original female character, past suga/tendou, side iwaoi, side suga/oikawa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2020-11-28 01:49:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DadchiNSFW/pseuds/DadchiNSFW
Summary: The silver-haired man was just as beautiful as he'd been last night, illuminated by the dance floor lights. Daichi couldn’t help feeling that he wasted a good thing on a one-night-stand. The guy deserved better than to wake up alone.





	1. Oh hello

**Author's Note:**

> Because the world needs more age-difference, single-parent, slow-burn Daisuga AUs.

Hello, my old heart  
How have you been?  
Are you still there inside my chest?  
I've been so worried, you've been so still  
Barely beating at all

_ Hello My Old Heart _ by the Oh Hellos

-

The shot of the gun, the smell of gunpowder. Suga held his breath as the dust settled. He tried not to look down, tried to postpone the inevitable heartbreak.Thunder rumbled overhead. Wind shook the window panes. He couldn’t hear either over the sound of his own pulse in his ears-- still ringing from the sound of the gun.

“I would not want to be outside today.”

The sudden interruption started Suga enough to drop his book, flinging it over the counter at his interrupter. “Tanaka! Don’t sneak up on people!”

“Hey, ouch, that was hard cover! And I didn’t sneak up on you, I walked right up to the counter like any other patron. Do you throw books at old ladies when they ask where the knitting patterns are?” 

Suga sighed, getting up from his chair. “Most old ladies at least attempt to whisper. This is a library after all. What’re you doing here?”

“What, I can’t come in and enjoy some… literature?”

“Mmhmm, yeah. Are you maybe still operating on the hope that you’ll meet a cute, shy girl if you just hang around the library like a creep?”

“While that would be great, I’m trusting my best friend to introduce me if such a girl ever walks in,” Tanaka nudged Suga as they walked. “I wanted to catch you before you went home. The semester is starting soon, right? We should party it up while we can!”

“Don’t remind me. Just two more days and I’m a slave to essays again.”

“So we have two more days to find a new years love. Come on, Suga, please?”

The silver-haired librarian laughed. “Fine, fine. But I’m working late tonight. Can we go out tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? Yes! It’ll be our last hurrah before we lose you to academia for months on end. And Suga?” Tanaka clapped him on the shoulder, face serious as death. “If a cute, shy girl comes in tonight, be sure to invite her.”

“Sure, sure, Tanaka. If your future wife walks in, I’ll risk the sexual harrassment charge for the sake of your eternal happiness.”

“Thank you, Suga, you’re the best.”

He could have sworn he saw Tanaka’s eyes watering with gratitude as he turned away. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. I’ll text you the place!”

Suga couldn’t help but chuckle as his friend headed out. He really should make a better habit of answering his phone, then maybe Tanaka wouldn’t feel the need to hunt him down like this.

He tried to pick up his book again, settling down behind the counter. His page eluded him, but he accidently read three spoilers in his effort to find it. When he’d finally found the beginning of the chapter, the lights shut off.

He could hear a child scream followed by crying. A few emergency lights flickered to life. Suga grabbed a flashlight as he headed onto the floor to check on the patrons. The storm continued to rage outside. The wails of the child got worse, making the entire experience all the more eerie than it needed to be.

Most patrons waved him off or had started to pack their things. He made his way towards the children’s section, closer to the source of the wailing. 

In the center of the shelves, bean bag chairs had been arranged for young readers. The area was empty save for three children huddled on one beanbag. A young girl no older than 10 had two younger children clinging to her. One child sniffled into her shirt while a toddler raged in her arms.

“Hey, hi there. It’s okay, just a little power outage from the storm. Nothing to be scared of.” It occurred to him too late that maybe he should be the one scared out of his wits. A number of classic horror novels came to mind as three pairs of piercing eyes turned towards him. “I’m Sugawara. I work here at the library. Who are you?”

“I’m Akemi,” the oldest mumbled over the toddler’s head, wails ceased in favor of curiosity. “This is Yua and Hiroto.”

“Nice to meet you Akemi-chan. Hello Yua-chan and Hiroto-kun. Do you need help finding your parents?”

Akemi shook her head. “Mom’ll come to pick us up soon. Dad’s at work.”

“So you’re the big girl looking after your younger siblings? That’s very grown up of you, Akemi-chan.”

The girl’s face went from annoyed to glowing under Suga’s praise. “I’m seven years old, I have to be responsible.”

“I’m five!” Yua volunteered, gesturing with an open palm. She’d let herself roll off of her sister, wiping her runny nose on her sleeve.

“Well you’re all being very brave in this storm. Hopefully the workers will have our electricity back on shortly.”

“I’m not scared, it’s Yua and Hiroto that keep crying.”

“I’m not crying!” Yua whined.

“Are to.”

“Are not!”

“Are to.

“Are not! Akemi!”

Hiroto’s cries started bubbling up as the girls argued.

“Hey, hey, shh shh, no one’s crying. Do you want to hear a story?”

Three pairs of eyes turned on Suga again, the girls nodding enthusiastically. Suga sighed with relief as the crying ceased. He pulled a chapter book from the shelf, settling into a beanbag with his flashlight.

“Okay, these are the ‘Black Eye Street Cat Stories.’”

“Oh! Daddy reads us this one! He says they’re about Uncle Kuroo and his friends back in Tokyo.” 

“Oh really, Akemi-chan? Would you like to help me read it then?”

“Yeah! Otherwise you’re gonna get the names wrong.”

The lights came back on after the first chapter, but the four barely noticed, enraptured in the adventure.

“Excuse me! Is no one manning the counter?”

Suga jumped, but managed to keep hold of the book. A women loomed over him, arms crossed. She must’ve been in her late 20’s, sharp makeup and black hair flowing around her shoulders. 

“Sorry ma’am, I’ll be right there.”

“Mommy!” Yua cheered, throwing herself at the woman’s leg. 

“Hi baby. Did you have fun?” The woman pried a sleeping Hiroto off of Akemi’s lap before turning to leave. The oldest child followed her out dutifully, waving to Suga before disappearing behind the stacks.

Suga took the book with him back to the counter, putting a bookmark in their spot just in case. He hadn’t seen the kids before, but he had a feeling they’d be back.

He met up with Tanaka as promised. He’d thought about flaking, but he had flaked all break. He might as well go out tonight. Tomorrow he’d be knees deep in textbooks again. Tanaka was right, this was his last hurrah for a few months.

The soft henley he’d chosen was weak against the April night chill, but he knew the club would be too hot for a jacket. Just thinking about the bodies packed into the tight space, music blasting and alcohol overflowing made him sweat. He suffered the chills until he reached his destination.

“Suga! You made it! You worried me,” Tanaka greeted him with open arms. “No bookish girl?”

“No, sorry,” he shrugged with a smile. “Guess you’ll have to lurk around the library after all. Hi Ennoshita, Noya.”

“Hey Suga!” 

“Come on, let’s go in. I’m freezing.”

The club was just as sweaty as he thought it’d be. Suga had his sleeves rolled up in no time. Noya and Tanaka had to coax him into taking a few shots before his inhibitions started to fall.

“You were right, Tanaka,” Suga gave him a solid clap on the back.

“What-- I mean, of course I was.”

“I needed this. I’ll miss you guys when school starts back up.”

“You know we’re still in the same city, right? We can still hang out.” Noya rolled his eyes, still smiling.

“Yeah, but Suga will be too busy with his college friends to hang out with us dummies.” Tanaka pouted.

“Speaking of which, weren’t you dating that guy?” Ennoshita gestured across the room. Suga followed his hand only to be met with wide, wild eyes.

“Shit, Tendou is here. And I made eye contact.”

“Oof, that bad?”

“He was into… some stuff. He was all hardcore and no tenderness.”

“Bad breakup then.”

“I stormed out of his house half naked-- and not the preferred half. When he called me to beg me to come back I asked him what color my eyes were.”

“That’s a pretty eas--”

“He said brown! Can you believe it!”

Tanaka grimaced. “He’s watching you. Want me to beat him up?”

“No, Tanaka. Thank you for the offer though.”

“But he’s creeping me out,” Noya shuddered, obviously watching the other man from over Suga’s shoulder.

“Sorry Noya, you can defend yourself. I’ll only get violent for Suga’s defense. Or a girl’s.”

Suga rolled his eyes, gulping down the rest of his drink. “I can take care of myself, Tanaka. I’m gonna go dance.” He could feel Tendou’s eyes tracking him across the floor. He knew it wouldn’t be long until the other man followed him. Suga just had to find someone to dance with, someone he could be so engrossed in that he could ignore Tendou lurking in the crowd. Preferably someone with muscle-- mostly for intimidation but also out of preference.

The crowd was largely disappointing. A couple of girls tried to wave him over. He politely declined. All of the men seemed preoccupied. He shouldn’t have expected otherwise from a straight club. He could feel Tendou coming closer, the hairs on his neck standing on end.

As he turned to retreat to his group, he spotted a table of men looking his way. They hadn’t noticed him looking as they urged one of their members to approach him. The men must have been in their early thirties. A group of businessmen blowing off some steam. The member in question wasn’t too shabby. His ears and face turned red from alcohol and embarrassment, but his button-up and slacks betrayed the muscles built underneath. He turned to look at Suga again.

Their eyes met.

A moment of electricity across the room and Suga was grinning, beckoning for him to come over. The man’s friends started laughing as they pushed him out of his chair. He stumbled towards the dancefloor, more nervous than drunk. Suga met him halfway, pulling him along into the action.

“So nice of you to join me. It’s rude to stare, you know,” Suga teased, hooking an arm around the man’s neck, anchoring them together in the crush of pulsating bodies.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to. You’re beautiful-- I mean--”

Suga laughed, slinging his other arm around the man to pull him closer. “Out of practice?” 

“Not where it matters,” he winked, placing firm hands on Suga’s hips.

Suga could have seen Tendou’s signature red hair out of the corner of his eye if he wasn’t enraptured by the slightest dusting of stubble along a strong jawline. He let his hand wander, appreciating the man’s broad shoulders, stepping back to get a good look. 

His retreat was met with resistance as the man pulled them chest-to-chest, hands firm across Suga’s back, breath hot on his neck. “Is there a jealous boyfriend I should be worried about? This guy’s shooting daggers at me.”

“More like a nasty ex.”

“Are you using me to get back at him?”

“Trust me,” Suga emphasized by slipping a hand into the back pocket of the man’s trousers, “I’d be interested regardless.”

“Are you pickpocketing me?” The stranger chuckled, squirming in Suga’s grip.

“Oh, is there’s something here worth taking? Hold on,” he shoved his other hand in the opposite pocket, reaching deep and groping the man’s ass until their hips were flush. The resulting laughter almost distracted from the very obvious bulge pressing against Suga’s hip. Almost. 

“Sorry, the guys took my wallet after I got a little too generous at the bar. There might be a receipt in there if you’re lucky.” 

“It’s only lucky if it’s the kind with a coupon at the bottom.”

“Oh! I do have a coupon for BOGO ramen,” the man tapped his front pocket.

Suga leaned back, gasping dramatically at the man’s grinning face. “Excuse me, sir, are you trying to get me to feel your dick?”

The man’s blush returned in full force, practically glowing in the dim club. “I was actually going to invite you out. The place is open late, you’re trying to escape your ex, and it’s awfully loud in here.”

“Oh, a secondary location. That’s fine then,” Suga couldn’t help but grin. “My knight in shining armor, come to whisk me away. And hopefully not dump my body in an alley.”

“Let me grab my wallet. I’m gonna need another drink if I’m gonna keep up with you.”

Suga followed him off the dance floor, dropping by his own table while the man collected his things. He didn’t have to say a word, Tanaka gave him a knowing look.

“Make safe choices. Call me the MINUTE things get weird.”

“The guy’s more awkward than a high schooler, don’t worry so much.”

“The awkward ones always have the weirdest kinks,” Ennoshita grimaced, “Leave your location services on. Don’t forget you have class in the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah. Thank you guys, I’ll text you in the morning,” Suga tapped the table, turning away with a confident smirk. He registered Noya’s encouraging shouts behind him even as his heart dropped to his feet. A familiar lanky, wide-eyed, red-headed man lumbered towards him out of the dance floor. Their eyes met before Suga could slip away. He gathered his wits and prepared for the confrontation.

“‘Scuse me,” a familiar broad stranger shouldered his way past Tendou, knocking the smaller man off trajectory. He approach Suga, sport jacket over his arm and wide smile on his face. “Ready?”

“My hero.” Hooking himself on the offered arm, Suga let the stranger escort him out of the club.

The night air was brisker than Suga had remembered it being. Amidst the smiles and laughter, he couldn’t hide his shivering as the wind cut through his thin shirt. 

“Oh, here, my jacket,” the man unwrapped his sport jacket from his arm, swinging it across Suga’s shoulders. 

Suga was overwhelmed by the comforting smell of aftershave and linen. He pulled the jacket closer, subtly trying to engulf himself in the smell. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I run hot,” he took Suga’s hand in his own to prove his point, palm rough and warm.

“Oooo, you’re just asking me to put my feet on you. They’re freezing.”

“I won’t promise not to scream.”

“That’s okay, I like screamers.” Suga erupted in laughter again as the man’s blush returned with a vengeance. He swayed, bumping him playfully. “So, how far to this secondary location?”

“It’s just around the corner at that light.”

“Mhmm. How’d you find this place?”

“I used to live in this area. Actually, if you squint you can see my old apartment window riiight… there,” the man pointed across the street. “The light pollution was awful, but on a clear night you could pretend the street lights were stars.”

“That might be the most precious thing I’ve ever heard. Are you from Sendai?”

“I grew up further out in the country, but I’ve been here a few years. I moved here for university. How about you?”

“I was a country bumpkin, too. Grew up in Osaki and moved to the city as soon as I had the chance.”

“What part of Osaki?”

“Sanbongisaida?”

“What a coincidence! I grew up right by Tenshoji.”

“Oh wow! I was right over by Sunflower Hill.”

“Hmm,” the man smiled at Suga with unexpected warmth, “it suits you.”

“Am I to assume that stone-faced Buddhist statues suit you too?”

“I’ll leave that to your bald friend back at the club. Here’s the place!”

The light from the ramen bar spilled out into the otherwise dark street. Suga could smell the warmth from inside, mouth watering already. The man’s stomach made a loud, impatient rumble. They wasted no time taking a seat inside.

“I trust you to know what’s good, just order two of whatever you’re getting,” Suga propped his elbows on the table, cradling his chin in his hands as he got a good look at the man. The lights in the bar were harsh, revealing the few gray hairs and the beginnings of laugh lines that the club lights forgave.

The food came with sake. Probably more sake than they should have enjoyed. They talked about Sanbongisaida, about how this ramen was the closest either had found to the ramen shop back home. As the sake poured, the conversation got louder, fuzzier, easier. The man’s favorite book was “Salvation of a Saint” by Higashino Keigo. He had two younger siblings and shoyu ramen was his favorite food. Suga cataloged every little detail his inebriated mind could catch as if the fate of the world counted on it.

The shop owner started not-so-subtly closing up shop. The man paid the bill and escorted Suga back outside.

“Do you need me to call you a Taxi?”

Suga took a moment to drink in those dark brown eyes, swallowed his nerves, and laced their fingers together. “Actually, my apartment is just one street over. You’re not fit to drive, either, if you wanted to crash at my place.”

Nervousness washed between them-- goosebumps and tense shoulders-- before the man gently nodded. Suga wasted no time pulling him along by the hand. Nervous laughter bubbled up from his throat, infectious. They both rounded the corner laughing like teenagers on an empty street. Suga attempted to shush them as they climbed the steps to his apartment, unable to contain his own giggling. 

The dim yellow light of his studio apartment welcomed them home. They tripped over themselves trying to kick off their shoes. Suga lost a sock in the process, tipping dangerously to the side in an attempt to dislodge it from his toes. He yelped as he lost his balance. Strong arms caught him, cradling him against a warm, broad chest.

Aftershave and linen. Deep brown eyes. Lines around his eyes from laughing. A barest hint of silver in his dark brown hair. His expression showed shock, concern... nervousness? Suga wasn’t nervous. There couldn’t have been a more perfect moment for him as he closed the distance. The man’s lips were soft, thin, warm. They stared at each other a beat longer before the man returned the kiss with vigor.

Insistent hands helped Suga find his balance before pushing up the hem of his shirt. Suga tossed the sport jacket aside, letting the man pull his henley over his head before starting on his button-up shirt. As Suga popped the first few buttons, the man undid his cuffs, pulling the whole shirt off as soon as it was unbuttoned enough to fit over his head. 

Suga held him by the waist as he led the man further into the apartment. As soon as he got skin contact, he didn’t want to lose it. The man was right, he did run hot. Suga craved his contact as if he’d been freezing his whole life. He maneuvered them until he was hugging the man from behind, hastily undoing the closures of his pants. He could feel the man’s breath catch as Suga’s fingers grazed his quickly hardening length, still concealed in his briefs. By way of reassurance, Suga pressed his hips against the man’s ass, making his own excitement known. He played with the waistband of the briefs, savoring the moment, before pushing those down too. The thick, half-hard cock spilled into his greedily awaiting hand, tip starting to leak as he rubbed his thumb across it.

The man turned, catching Suga by the underarms, “it’s not fair if I’m the only one vulnerable.” He gently pushed Suga back onto the bed, wasting no time in undoing his jeans. He slipped them off, underwear and all, leaving Suga flushed pink and exposed on the sheets. 

Before he could catch his bearings, the man was kneeling between Suga’s thighs. His mouth left hot, open kisses along the sensitive skin. Broad hands groped at his hips, holding him to the mattress as he squirmed.

“You can-- ahh-- you can mark me as long as clothes will cover it.”

The man didn’t need to be told twice as he sunk his teeth into the inside of Suga’s thigh, hand moving to tease his cock as he worked a mark on the spot. Suga whined at the attention, fisting the sheets at his sides.

“Lube?” 

Suga almost missed the husky whisper under the sound of his own heart racing in his ears. “H-hold on,” he wriggled free from under the man, crawling onto the full-sized mattress to grab the bottle of lube from his bedside drawer. The mattress creaked as the man followed after him, picking the bottle from his grasp before diving back down between Suga’s legs. 

The younger man gasped as his length was engulfed in wet heat. His hands sought short dark brown hair as he begged for more. He missed the sound of the lube cap as his own whimpers and moans filled the apartment. Suga’s mind was lost as soon as the first thick finger breached his entrance.

It was like a dream-- a messy, sloppy blur with a few moments of clarity. He remembered the gentleness the man took with opening him up despite his possessive growl as Suga hardened in his throat. He remembered grabbing a condom from the drawer and feeling intimidated as the man rolled it down his girth. He was reassured with sweet kisses, lips wet with spit and his own precome. The man continued kissing him ever-so-gently as he pushed against the entrance. Suga scratched at the man’s back, legs wrapped around his hips, as he sunk inch by inch.

Suga remembered with absolute clarity the moment he was completely seated. He saved it as a perfect memory: full and warm and gentle. He locked his legs around his lover, never wanting him to move for fear of him leaving. He couldn’t even be embarrassed by his own desperate whimpering as the man trailed reassuring kisses along his neck.

“I’m going to move now,” his voice was like chocolate, sweet and dark. His hands wandered Suga’s body, encouraging him to relax his vice grip on his hips so that he could begin thrusting short, slow, and deep. Suga remembered being constantly reassured and comforted as his cock was coaxed to climax. He remembered feeling safe, loved, and completed as the man’s thrusts became more erratic, the thickness of his cock pulsing as he came. He remembered the comfortable sweatiness of laying together, still joined, as they tried to catch their breath.

Eventually the man rolled off of him, tying off the condom and tossing it vaguely in the direction of the trash can. Suga wasted no time curling into that broad chest and falling asleep.

Sawamura Daichi woke up in a pit of anxiety, quickly followed by a pounding headache. He’d left his kids with his sister all night, he had to get to work, and the young man from last night was curled up on the narrow bed next to him-- completely naked.

The naked part stood out as Daichi realized how much skin contact they were sharing. His own clothes were crumpled on the floor across the apartment. He could wear them into work today, but he’d look like a wrinkled hot mess. It was bad enough he felt hungover, he didn’t have to look it too.

He slipped out of bed without waking its owner. He scrambled into his pants, checking his phone from his pocket. 15 missed texts from his sister.

‘I’m so sorry, spent the night at Asahi’s.’ was the best answer he could think of at the moment. He pulled his shirt on, attempting to smooth the wrinkles as he tucked it in. He spared a moment to glance back at the bed.

The silver-haired man was just as beautiful as he'd been last night, illuminated by the dance floor lights. Daichi couldn’t help feeling that he wasted a good thing on a one-night-stand. The guy deserved better than to wake up alone. A stack of notebooks sat on the table. Daichi opened the one on top, found it blank, and wrote a quick note on the first page.

‘Thank you. I have to get to work or else I would have stayed. Hope to see you again.’

His phone buzzed furiously in his pocket. With a sigh, he stepped out the door and returned to his reality. 

The sunlight was too bright. His head was pounding. His sister was demanding to know when he’d be home. ‘After work’ didn’t seem like a good enough answer. He sent Asahi a quick text asking him if he could swing by his office with a spare change of clothes and a sports drink. The gentle giant replied with a simple ‘sure thing.’ Bless him. 

Kuroo’s clothes would have fit better but he would have received a series of invasive questions about last night. He definitely wasn’t ready to explain last night to anyone. Especially not that scheming pain-in-the-ass.

He hailed a cab to campus, not wanting to walk two blocks back to the club to pick up his car. He’d be back for it after work. Maybe he’d even… no, he banished the thought. He couldn’t entertain the idea of actually seeing the beautiful silver-haired stranger again.

It ached.

Asahi met him at his office with a freshly ironed outfit, a six-pack of Pocari Sweat, and a baggy containing a travel-sized toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant. “Thought you might need these too.”

“Thank you Asahi, you’re an absolute saint.” 

“Be careful, Daichi,” the man’s face was grim. While not the taunting grin he would have gotten from Kuroo, the serious look was just as off putting. “If Aya even suspects anything is going on before the divorce is finalized, you’ll lose everything.”

“I know, I know. It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

“It was nice to feel wanted again, wasn’t it.”

“Y… yeah. It was almost… loved.”

“I’m sorry,” Asahi sighed, placing a reassuring hand on Daichi’s shoulder.

“I didn’t even get his name.” Daichi hid his face in his hands. He could feel Asahi’s pity burning through his skin.

“I have to get to the office. Text me if you need anything else.”

Daichi ducked into a remote bathroom to change, rolling the pant legs up a few inches and pushing the sleeves to his elbows. He felt like a new man after brushing his teeth, spitting the stale remnants of last night’s activities down the drain. He returned to his office to answer messages and nurse the Pocari Sweat before his first class.

Just when his headache was waning, the texts started coming in.

Kuroo: Good morning professor  
Kuroo: Have a good night last night?  
Kuroo: You deserved a pretty lay before the first day of school.

Daichi: Shut up

Kuroo: You’re welcome

Last night had been Kuroo’s idea. If anything, he was to blame. After seven years of being a proper family man, Kuroo had convinced him to loosen up for just one night and look what happened. “We need to celebrate your divorce,” he had said, “and your last hurrah before the school year. Think of it as a re-bachelor party.”

With a sigh, he closed his laptop and headed for his first class of the day.

“Oh man, you still woke up alone? I’m sorry,” Ennoshita offered a sympathetic smile as he handed Suga his coffee on their walk into campus. 

The silver-haired student sighed, gratefully accepting the caffeine. “I mean he left me a note. And his jacket. I didn’t even get his name.”

“Like Cinderella.”

“But guess what I found in the pocket.”

“Hmm?”

“A wedding band! Here I am, thinking I’ve found love, only to wake up alone because my Prince Charming has gone back to his wife!”

“I’m sorry Suga. At least you had one magical night?”

“Yeah… the ring is a weird glass slipper though.”

“You’re wearing it aren’t you.”

Suga felt his face flush, the ring resting hot against his chest. “On a chain. Putting it on my finger felt too weird.”

“You romantic sap, Sugawara.”

“After Tendou’s all-sex-no-feelings relationship it was so nice to feel…. cherished. Even for a night.”

“How’s your hangover?”

“Much better. Thanks for grabbing coffee. I’ll pay you back tomorrow. Where’s your first class?”

“Lecture rooms B for civil services. You?”

“Lecture rooms A. My advisor is making me take physics 101 because apparently physiology and pharmacology don’t count as core sciences.”

“Oooo, that’s rough. Good luck”

“Thanks,” Suga shifted his backpack with a nervous smile as he broke away to enter his building. He absentmindedly played with the ring through his shirt. He wasn’t looking forward to physics, had no interest in physics, and was honestly worried about the impact this would have on his GPA. 

He took a seat a few rows back, close enough to be able to clearly read the board and hopefully pass the class but not so close that he’d be expected to answer questions.

He opened his notebook, smiling fondly at the message on the first page before turning to the second and copying the information on the board.

Psychology 101 Class B  
Tuesday Thursday  
9:00am-10:30am  
Professor Sawamura

“Good morning class! Welcome back and welcome to physics 101. I’m Professor Sawamura and I—“ the man in the front of the room turned away from the board, eyes only skimming the room before locking onto a familiar head of silver hair. Suga glanced up to see what the issue was, only to lock eyes with the man whose wedding band rested against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for giving this work a shot! I'm going to try to include at least a little smut in each chapter cuz I know that's what you're here for.


	2. Oh, don't leave me here alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi dismisses the elephant in the room. Suga meets a distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter includes descriptions of child emotional and mental abuse.

“He’s a teenager!” Daichi felt dizzy. It amazed him that he could hold his phone, much less than he was able to finish class.

“Daichi, breathe,” Asahi’s ever soothing voice came from the other end. “He’s a university student, not a minor. You haven’t broken any laws.”

“It’s the 101 class, Asahi! They’re all first years getting their core classes out of the way. They’re all either 17 or 18!”

“As your attorney, I’m assuring you that you’re okay. Tohoku doesn’t even have a student-teacher relationship policy.”

“And as my friend and peer?”

“Ehhh…”

“Asahi!” It was hard not to whine. He finally made an emotional connection after years of feeling alone and the guy is fresh out of high school. What did that say about him? A house, a career, and three kids later, Daichi was still on the same emotional level as a teenager? He could throw himself into traffic.

“Look, Daichi, I have to be honest with you. The most important thing right now is to make sure Aya and her attorney don’t find out about this. If you think they’re pushing for alimony now, imagine their case if they find out you committed adultery.”

“I was a dutiful, faithful husband for nine years! We’d already filed for divorce!”

“It doesn’t matter. Until it’s finalized, you’re still married. And it won’t be finalized until we come to an agreement on this alimony check.”

“Asahi…”

“I’m working on it, Daichi, trust me. For now you just have to sit tight and stay clean. Don’t let this kid talk. Don’t let him near you. Don’t let him tempt you. Don’t let him blackmail you. Just. Stay. Clean.”

“Okay. Okay. He’s just another one of my students.”

“Keep me updated, Daichi.”

“Thank you Asahi.”

“He’s my professor.”

“What’s this now?”

“Are you still sleeping? Tanaka, it’s almost noon!”

“It was a late night last night, let me sleep.”

“Exactly! It was a late night last night and the guy I spent it with is my physics professor!”

“Wait—what— Suga! Way to go!”

“No, not way to go! I’m gonna have to see him twice a week. It’s already a subject I’m bad at and now my GPA is dependent on a one-night-stand.”

“Well, was it any good? Cause if you made it good for him, then that’s not a bad thing. You’ve been blessed by an easy A, Sug. Embrace it.”

“I’m not— he’s not like that. He was gentle and sweet. And married.”

“Oh hohoho. So he’s in a loveless marriage and you’re his passionate young mistress.”

“Tanaka…”

“Sorry Suga. You really liked this guy, huh.”

“Yeah… then he was gone before I woke up, leaving me with his wedding band but not his name.” Suga felt the weight of it against his sternum as he walked to his next class. 

“Ouch. Did you try to talk to him after class?”

“No… I was too embarrassed— I ran for the door. My adviser won’t let me change classes either. I’m already a year late on my core science requirement.”

“You’re going to have to talk to him eventually.”

“I know… I just… Can we pretend that everything's gonna be alright?”

“Everything’s gonna be fine,” a new voice startled Suga out of his phone conversation. A young man with a smug smile stood outside the door to Suga’s next class.

“Thanks Tanaka, gotta go, time for class,” Suga glared at the interloper as he hung up. He was a good four inches taller than Suga and devilishly handsome, soft brown hair falling across his forehead and a playful glint in his eye. “Hello?”

“Sorry, it sounded like you needed extra reassurance. Don’t worry, I didn’t hear too much. Something about waking up alone with someone else’s wedding band? Sounded interesting though. Wanna sit together?”

Suga attempted to measure up to the man, matching his smirk. “Only if I get the right side, I have sharp elbows and need space to write.”

“Fair enough, but you’ll have to tell me your name first.”

“Sugawara,” he slipped past the man, letting their shoulders bump as he went through the door.

The taller man rubbed his shoulder, playful smile still glowing as he followed Suga to an empty table. “Oikawa. Let’s have a great semester together, Suga-chan.”

The class itself was easy enough. Social psychology: anyone who’d ever interacted in the general populace already knew it. It was just a matter of learning the names for theories you already knew. At least it was one less blow to the GPA that Suga had to worry about.

This did, however, give plenty of time to zone out in class.

_ Why are you in psych when you obviously hate it _

He hadn’t realized he’d been staring at Oikawa’s notes until the message popped out at him.

_ It’s pretty generic. You can use it in just about any field. You? _

_ Your handwriting is atrocious. I want to go into forensic psychology _

_ That sounds more interesting than counseling _

_ Yeah, it’s how I can tell by your handwriting that you’re lonely, single, just a bit sadistic, and exactly my type _

_ No you can’t, shut up _

_ No I can’t, but was I right? _

_ Lucky guess _

They were both trying to maintain straight faces, just barely keeping the facade of diligent note-taking students. Somehow they managed to turn the syllabus page right on cue, vaguely following along as the professor listed their future assignments. 

Oikawa circled a project towards the bottom of the page.

_ Partners? _

Suga gave the project a once over. A simple social experiment with a power point.

_ Only if you do all the work and I get all the credit. _

_ Fine. But you have to buy me dinner first. _

_ Fine. It’s a date. _

Students around them started packing up their desks before either man realized class had been dismissed. Oikawa was grinning as he slipped his notebook into his bag. “I have to meet up with some people, but let’s set that date soon.”

“Let’s get through this week first. Here, let me put my number in your phone,” Suga grabbed the smart phone off the desk before it was offered.

“0-6-10.”

“June birthday?” Suga swiped in the code.

“July. A friend set up the phone for me, so he used his own birthday.”

“That’s one way to get you to remember it. And it’s a few days before mine. Here, I included it in my contact information just in case,” he handed the phone back.

“I’ll text you!” Oikawa promised as he hefted his bag onto his shoulder, hurrying out of the classroom. Suga finished packing his things and left soon after.

  


Logically, Suga knew the library attendance would increase when the school year resumed. He knew it from experience, too. And yet he was still blindsided by the sheer volume of frazzled students trying to find the right textbook. It would quiet down in a few weeks as their own copies started coming in the mail, but until then it was a melee battle over the few library copies of each text.

“I’m sorry, we only have two copies and they’re both checked out right now.”

“You have to be kidding me,” the student looked torn between crying and tearing Suga limb from limb. The librarian took a moment to appreciate the solid counter-top separating them.

“I believe the students that have them right now are still studying upstairs. You can go see if they will share. It doesn’t hurt to have a friend in your class.”

“This is bullshit. This is bullshit!” The man punched the counter before storming out of the building. Suga sighed with relief.

“Sugawara-san?” The voice almost disappeared with the ringing in his ears from the encounter. Akemi blinked up at him, baby Hiroto in squirming in her arms. “Are you okay Sugawara-san?”

“Hi Akemi-chan,” he gave her a reassuring grin. With the lights on, her dark features showed more prominently. Slightly tall for her age, her dark brown hair fell just past her shoulders. Deep brown eyes were set with undereye shadows too heavy for a child. She was a child with more worries than a child should have had, and she was looking to him. “It’s okay. He was mad at the circumstances, not me.”

“He punched the counter.”

Anxiety bubbled up in Suga’s stomach. Sure, he was a psych major, but he was in no way ready for this kind of situation. Then again, was anybody? He made his way out from behind the counter, kneeling to her level. “Did it scare you, Akemi-chan?”

“A little bit,” she wouldn’t make eye contact, shifting Hiroto nervously in her arms.

“It’s okay, you’re safe here. I’ll keep you safe. Where’s Yua?”

“She’s hiding.”

“Can you take me to her? I want to make sure she’s alright too.”

Akemi nodded, leading Suga back into the children’s section. Behind the stacks and under a small desk, Yua was curled up with a board book. Her face looked as carefree as ever, smiling as she turned the page. She lit up like a light when Akemi walked over with Suga.

“Sugawara-san!” She all but lept out from under the table, clinging to Suga’s leg. Her dark hair was cropped short, curling around her ears in a wispy bob.

“You guys can call me Suga-san if you want.”

“Suga-san!” Yua corrected herself with a big smile.

“Hello Yua-chan. Did the yelling scare you?”

She looked up at him with big, round eyes before shaking her head.

“Why were you hiding under the desk?” He tried to keep his expression soft, trying to match her playful demeanor. 

“Because that’s what you do when an adult is yelling. You play Hide and Stay Very Very Quiet.”

Suga fought to keep his panic down. He was definitely not equipped for this kind of situation. He didn’t even want to be a counselor, he just wanted an easy major. “Do adults yell a lot? Does your dad ever punch things like that man did?”

“Not dad. Mom’s the one that punches things and yells,” Akemi mumbled, almost like she didn’t want Yua to hear her.

“Does your mom ever hit you?”

Akemi flinched at the same time Yua chirped “no, why?”

“Akemi-chan? It’s okay. You can tell me.”

“She doesn’t hit us. She just… throws things sometimes.”

“That’s because you don’t play Hide and Stay Very Very Quiet!”

“Does your dad know that your mom throws things?”

Akemi refused to meet his eyes. “Whenever he’s home, he’s the one who gets yelled at. She only yells at me when he’s at work.”

“Akemi-chan, your dad needs to know that you mom is doing this. Do you want me to talk to him with you?”

“No! No no no!” Yua showed distress for the first time in their interaction. “Akemi! Mom said she’s sorry! You don’t tattle on someone if they say sorry!”

“It doesn’t matter, Dad kicked her out anyway,” Akemi shrugged and walked off, obviously trying to escape the conversation. Suga let it drop out of fear that she’d shut him out. She needed a trustworthy adult in her life and the burden was very suddenly on his shoulders.

“Akemi-chan, I still have our page saved from last time we read together. Can you help me read some more? You do the voices better than I do.”

They finished the book together, Yua and Hiroto fast asleep. Akemi picked up another book to read on her own as Suga went back to work. 

This time he was able to recognize the woman when she came in. He gripped the counter so tightly his knuckles hurt. He had never felt as powerless as he did watching her haul all three children out of the library.

Suga worked away the weekend as the library was overrun with desperate students. The constant library traffic combined with organizing the new semester’s workload and worrying about someone else’s kids, he was able to postpone the anxiety that awaited him Tuesday morning.

Tuesday morning. The dreaded physics class. Professor Sawamura didn’t spare him more than a glance as he started his lecture. Suga supposed that was better than having a professor give him suggestive glances in front of the whole class, but it was still unsettling. The guy’s used condom was still in the garbage next to Suga’s bed, the only proof that anything had happened.

Suga made a mental note to take out the trash when he got home.

The lecture was going over his head. Force, drag, mass, velocity, he quickly jotted down their definitions. But then the equations. It was only day 2 and he was having trouble grasping the topics.

This class was going to murder his GPA.

“I see a lot of blank faces. Are we sleeping or are we confused?” Sawamura eyed his class expectantly. A light ripple of half-hearted laughter spread across the room. “Well, if anyone needs extra help, I have office hours almost every day. Check your syllabus. Today I’ll be in my office from 1 to 3. If enough people need help, we can start a study group.”

Suga loved the idea, but dreaded the execution. They’d have to address the elephant in the room eventually. Might as well do it while getting some extra tutoring.

“You’re not actually doing this,” Ennoshita fussed over the lunch table. “Isn’t it better just to pretend it never happened?”

Suga shrugged. “I need the help. And he’s a nice guy. I’m sure we just need to… clear the air.”

“Suga. The way you were talking about him before sounded like this was more than a hookup.”

“I’m running back to my apartment after lunch to grab his jacket. We’ll say we were too drunk to remember any of it. I’ll empty my trash can. It’ll be like it never happened.”

“And the ring that you have tucked inside your t-shirt?”

“Don’t worry so much,” Suga grinned, giving his friend a firm pat on the shoulder as he took up his trash. “My GPA comes first.”

Except that Suga couldn’t even convince himself not to worry as he walked towards the science building, jacket draped over his arm. He tried to remember everything he could about that night. Sawamura had been kind, gentle, friendly. Suga tried to reassure himself that he wouldn’t suddenly become a cruel person. The Sawamura he met that night would be the perfectly compassionate professor Suga needed in order to pass this class.

That somehow made it worse. What if Sawamura wanted to continue seeing him? A flutter in his stomach was quickly dismissed as Suga stifled the thought. There was no use entertaining the situation if there was a large margin for disappointment. 

Even if it was an option, Suga wasn’t about to be the young mistress to a married professor. It just wasn’t going to work. He should just let it go.

Soft street lights, good food, genuine unconstrained laughter, a gentle hand. Just let it go. Let it be just one, magical, perfect night in isolation.

He could feel his gut rejecting the idea like a bad transplant even as he pushed on the door to the office.

Daichi had been deep in an email argument for what felt like the past two hours. He didn’t know how many more times he could write “per my original email” before he marched over to his colleague's office and put the idiot out of his misery. His irritation only grew when he was interrupted by the creaking of his office door.

“Excuse me, Professor?”

“Yes, come in--” He pushed back from his work and froze. The all-too-familiar face of his silver-haired student peered around the door. His mind momentarily blanked. He had badgered the registrar’s office for a copy of his student sheet that included ID photos. The student’s name had been swimming in his head ever since, only to short circuit when it was needed. When it finally came to him, it came with a little too much volume and nervous energy. “Sugawara-san. Hi.”

Really smooth. Really mature and professional.

“Suga, please. Just Suga.” He closed the door behind himself, ears burning red, fingers fidgeting with a jacket on his arm-- so that’s where that went. Daichi didn’t know why he was dreading this moment. Asahi had painted Sugawara-- Suga-- to be some kind of blackmailing vixen. Now that he was standing in Daichi’s office, the older man was reminded of how good-natured he was. Suga was all encouraging words, playfulness, and passion-- 

Ah.

That’s where the real danger was.

“Suga, then. Have a seat. What-- uh-- what brings you in?”

“It’s not-- I’m just returning your jacket. And I wanted to ask about the study group. Physics is probably my weakest subject and I could use some extra help.”

Daichi took the jacket as if it contained a dead thing, depositing it on the floor next to his computer bag. “You do realize that what happened last week can never happen again.”

Suga flinched. Maybe he had gotten his hopes up just a little. “I’m not that kind of person, I was just in a bad place.” 

“Me too. I mean, I haven’t—“ 

“I could tell,” Suga smirked, half-hearted through his own embarrassment.

“Wh-ahem- so we can conclude that neither of us are that kind of person. It was just one… bad night.” 

“Really? You thought it was bad?” 

“Do you want help or not,” the professor sighed, hiding his face in his hands. He knew Suga was wearing that cheeky grin. It would be the death of him.

“I _ need _ help. I’m already behind on my core science requirement. The sciences I took first year apparently didn’t count.”

“Oh,” Daichi lifted his face from his hands, eyeing Suga suspiciously. “What year are you then?”

“Second,” Suga sighed, “so I’m not too far behind, but I’m supposed to be done with my core courses by now. My adviser was furious.”

Daichi’s sigh of relief didn’t go unnoticed. 

“You thought I was fresh out of high school, didn’t you. You’ve been beating yourself up over it. You know, that’d be bragging rights for most guys your age. You’re a good man, Sawamura-sensei.”

“Suga, listen,” Daichi made sure to hold eye contact, “I can help you through class, but we have to go on as if nothing happened. We can’t talk about it. No joking, no flirting, please. Just… forget all about it. I have a family to think about, and this… this can’t get out.”

“Yes, Professor. I understand,” heartbreak and shame boiled in Suga’s stomach. The ring weighed against his chest with bitterness. “Like I said, it was just a bad night.”

“Thank you,” the anxiety melted from Daichi’s shoulders. “We can meet during my office hours Thursday to discuss a study group. For now I have to head out. The kids’ will be getting out of school soon and their teachers scold me when I’m late.”

Suga forced a laugh as he stood, trying to shake the heaviness from his spirit. “So even you’re afraid of Senpai scolding you for tardiness.”

“I always thought preschool teachers would be more like in the movies, all crayon drawings and smiles. My oldest daughter’s teacher smacked me with a ruler for being five minutes late!”

“Mmhmm. Good luck, Sawamura-sensei. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Suga made his exit with a coy smile and a swing of his hips. The memory was fuzzy, but Daichi was very sure he’d left some love bites on those hips. He wondered if they’d faded yet.

It was going to be a long semester.

He managed to make it a little early to Akemi’s school. A burden Daichi didn’t realize he was carrying lifted as soon as his daughter spotted him by the gate. Her gap-toothed smile brought him relief.

“Daddy!” She threw her arms around his stomach and he was hit again by how tall she’d gotten. There was only a 50cm difference between them. It was a pity she’d never taken an interest in volleyball no matter how much he encouraged it.

“Hi baby,” he planted a kiss on top of her head. At least she wasn’t at the ‘don’t kiss me in front of my classmates’ stage yet. Daichi dreaded the day. “How was school?”

“Teacher got in the new Penelope book and I get to take it home first! But she wouldn’t let me start reading it until quiet time.” She unwrapped herself, taking Daichi’s offered hand as they walked down the block to Yua’s preschool.

“Well, it’s important to listen to the lesson.”

“But reading makes you smart! Why should I have to sit through the lesson when I could just read and learn whatever I want by myself.”

He had to keep himself from laughing. “The lesson will help you understand the books you need. Plus, it’s rude to ignore your teacher.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re a teacher.”

“Yes, well, it hurts my feelings when my students ignore me. Your teacher is a person with feelings too, just like you.” He stopped short of the gate when he spotted Yua’s preschool teacher standing by the door.

Akemi laughed. “What about Nakamura-sensei?”

“Nakamura-sensei definitely has feelings, but I’m not so sure about the human part.”

“Hi Dad Hi Dad! Hi Akemi!” Yua came bounding down the sidewalk.

“Hey there, beansprout!” Daichi bent down to scoop her up as she ran into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he shifted her to one arm, taking Akemi’s hand with the other.

“Dad, we had art today!”

“Don’t you have art every day?”

“Yeah, but today we made penguins!”

“Mmhmm.”

“Are we going to Grammy and Grandpa’s house? I want to show Mom my penguin!”

“No honey, we have to go to Aunt Kaori’s to pick up Hiroto. Then we’re going straight home to dinner.”

“Is Mom coming?”

“Mom’s having dinner at Grammy and Grandpa’s. You’ll see them tomorrow though!”

Yua’s dramatic pout hurt less than the poorly concealed tears welling in her eyes. Akemi gave his hand a pitying squeeze. Was he really that obvious?

“Hey baby, it’s okay! You can show them tomorrow.”

“No.” She hid her face him his shoulder even as tiny fists pushed him away.

Daichi silently thanked the powers that be that Yua specialized in quiet tantrums. Akemi had been a screamer. There were days when Aya made him call out of work because she couldn’t deal with the screaming anymore. He’d stay home with a colicky baby while she went god-knows-where. 

Hiroto, though, he was a ticking time bomb. He was either eerily quiet, staring with those big brown eyes, or screaming and red in the face. The girls were both babbling baby talk by the time they were 13 months. They could indicate “ba” or “up” if they wanted fed or help. Hiroto only knew how to scream and the rest was a guessing game.

Even as Daichi entered his sister’s home, his son barely glanced at him.

“You’re right on time, Dai!” His sister grinned as she rounded the corner, Hiroto’s go-bag in her arms. 

“Thanks Kaori,” he set Yua down and accepted the bag. “You’re a god-send.”

“It takes a village to raise a kid,” she shrugged, “especially when their mom jumps ship.”

“Shh!” Daichi floundered, checking to make sure Akemi and Yua had already wandered out of ear shot.

“You’re not going to be able to protect them forever. Eventually they’re going to realize their mom abandoned them. She’s a terrible mother, Dai. That’s not your burden to bear, you don’t have to cover for her.”

“I just don’t want them to blame themselves. Especially Yua… she just loves Aya so much. It’s kind of inspiring, that level of unconditional love.”

“It’s unhealthy, is what it is. I’ll be happy for you when that witch is gone for good-- even if that means I have to pick up her slack.”

Daichi smiled with relief as he scooped Hiroto into his arms “I’d be lost without you, little sister.”

“You know it. Are we still on for tomorrow?”

“Mmhmm, I’ll pick you up at 10 after I drop the girls off at school. Girls, come on! I have to get dinner started before we all starve!”

“The sooner you get this divorce settled, the sooner you can have a girlfriend waiting for you at home with a hot meal after a long day,” Kaori nudged him playfully.

“Don’t let us starve!” Akemi raced to latch onto his arm. Yua dutifully took her sister’s hand. Daichi stifled a laugh at how their little train resembled a family of lemmings.

“See you tomorrow, Kaori.”

“See you then.”

“Good morning Suga-chan!” Oikawa’s eyes lit up with excitement as Suga answered the door. 

“Good morning. Perfect timing, I just finished packing.”

“Are those precious homemade bentos I see?” The taller man craned his neck to peek into Suga’s bag before he could zip it up.

“The observatory is a fifteen minute walk from the bus stop. There’s a couple of community parks along the way; I thought we might want a picnic.”

“Suga-chan, you really know how to romance a man.”

“Are you gonna be able to keep up with me?” Suga shut the door behind them with a devilish grin.

They took the bus 40 minutes away from the heart of the city. Clusters of buildings gave way to forested hills and country roads. They talked about classes, past and present, the best professors and electives to take in the psychology track, and their favorite psychological theories. Suga shifted uncomfortably, feeling like an impostor for choosing the major out of convenience. Oikawa wrapped an arm around the other man’s waist, attributing his movement to the swaying of the bus.

“So… why the observatory?” Suga leaned into the extra support. For such a lean figure, Oikawa’s chest was broad and firm. An attractive man with an equally nice body? Suga wasn’t about to complain.

“Why not! It’s the perfect first date. You get to walk together, see the exhibits. There’re dimly lit rooms and it’s socially acceptable to talk-- unlike movies and dinner. Plus, space is just… cool.”

“Oh my god. You’re one of those tin-foil-hat alien guys, aren’t you.”

“N-no! I just think it’s nice to think that there’s something other than… this. Don’t you think life is more fun if you believe in some kind of mystery?”

“Mystery?”

“Come on, Suga-chan, you’re telling me you don’t believe in something that can’t be defined? Some kind of hoax that just makes living more fun? Aliens, ghosts, God, true love?”

“I can’t tell if you’re a cynic or an optimist.”

“I’m an optimist, but I’m not stupid. I know aliens aren’t little green men. Hell, at best we’ll find single-celled organisms. But wouldn't it be nice to meet another intelligent, humanoid race?”

“Mhmmm…” Suga let the swaying of the bus rock him closer to Oikawa. True love was a hoax, but wouldn’t it be nice…?

“Sorry, it’s stupid. Iwachan always scolded me for going on tangents like that.”

“It’s not stupid,” Suga put a comforting arm around Oikawa, reciprocating the physical support, “I think it’s cute. I don’t know who Iwa is, but he’s missing out.”

“Oh! Iwachan-- Iwaizumi is my childhood friend. He moved to Tokyo for university.”

“Was he the one who told you Santa doesn’t exist? He seems the type.”

“What?! Santa doesn’t exist?!” The taller man shook Suga dramatically. “Why would you ruin my dreams like that?!”

“Oh no! I didn’t mean to destroy your childlike innocence!” Suga was laughing, fighting to keep his footing between the bus and Oikawa’s gestures. “Please forgive me!”

“I will forgive you Sugawara-san-- but only under one condition!” He released Suga’s waist, pulling away to drop down on one knee. Taking Suga’s hand in his own, he pleaded “since you took my innocence, you’re now obligated to make me a man.”

His antics cued a flurry of shrill giggles and cell phone cameras from a nearby group of teenage girls. He could see the Nico Nico Douga title now: Gay Proposal on the Senzan Line. It was the classic public proposal dilemma. Give in or look like an asshole in front of the entire internet.

Luckily, the bus came to a sudden stop, sending Oikawa tumbling sideways. He pulled Suga halfway down with them, both of them laughing almost too hard to hear the “Ayashieki Stop” announcement. Suga stood, helping Oikawa to his feet, and the two stepped off the bus before their audience could receive an answer.

“I’ll have you know, I don’t put out on the first date,”double checking his phone for directions, Suga pointed them towards the observatory.

“What if it’s an exceptionally good first date?”

“You really are an optimist.”

The fifteen minute walk seemed even longer than the 40 minute bus ride. The scenery was pleasant and the roadway relatively quiet. At some point, Oikawa slipped his hand into Suga’s. 

“Do you come out here often? This is quite a journey.”

“Well, it’s only 25 minutes by car. I used to make Iwachan drive me. Maybe I should learn to drive.

“You’d look cool in a car,” Suga agreed.

“Everyone looks cool in a car.”

Right on cue, a small white car drove up behind them. The two peered into the driver’s window.

“See, even that guy looks cool because he’s driving a car. Otherwise he looks boring as hell.”

Suga nodded slowly, adjusting his grip on Oikawa’s hand. He could have sworn he just saw a ghost— but it was probably his imagination.

The rounded building of the observatory came into view as they turned the corner. They enjoyed the lunches Suga packed before heading inside. Oikawa eagerly dragged Suga to his favorite permanent exhibits before they got in line for the projector show. 

The childlike wonder in Oikawa’s face warmed Suga’s heart. He couldn’t help a fond smile as he watched Oikawa’s expressions in the dim light of the show. The taller man caught him looking, grinned, and swooped in for a firm kiss on Suga’s lips— just off center thanks to the poor visibility. Suga laughed, cupping Oikawa’s face in his hands before pulling him in for another kiss.

This was good. This was nice. This was fun.

This was acceptable.

They pulled back to watch the show’s finale over one another’s heads. As the lights came back on, Suga saw it again: the ghost.

Sawamura Daichi stood a couple feet away, head still raised to where the stars were just moments before. A wistful, carefree smile graced his face. He looked young, vulnerable, in the moment before the crowd started pushing for the doors. Sawamura-san stumbled as a larger man bumped into him. Suga walked behind him, elbows out to break the crowd and prevent any further bumping all while pretending his full attention was on Oikawa’s recount of the show and not his uncharacteristically precious physics professor.

“Dai!”

Suga jumped at the same time Sawamura did. A women came bustling through the quickly thinning crowd, baby cradled on her wide hips. She had the perfect pear shape, pouted lips, and mid-length straight brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. Suga couldn’t help but flinch as she approached Sawamura with a big smile, placing the baby in his arms. A happy little family. Guilt churned in Suga’s stomach. He at least had the sense to leave the ring at home for his date. He was disgusted with himself regardless.

Sawamura stopped short to cradle the baby to his shoulder, causing Suga to have to side step around him, bumping Oikawa in the process.

“Oh! My guide!” The worried piece of paper fell from Oikawa’s grasp as the man grappled to catch it.

“Oikawa--” Suga turned, not wanting to lose his date in the crush of people. Inevitably, he came face-to-face with Sawamura, baby in his arms and wife by his side. For a panicked moment, they froze, eyes locked, as the world moved around them.

“Suga-chan, come on, I want to see the seasonal exhibit before the after-school crowd arrives.”

The moment broke. “Y-yeah. Let’s go.” 

“I want to grab another guide before we go. A keepsake for my first date with Suga-chan.”

Deep brown eyes clouded Suga’s head. Well built shoulders-- they looked even better on a family man. Oikawa was still talking. He was a good date. This was a good date. He needed to focus on this date.

The seasonal exhibit was a photo gallery curated by the university astrology club. Suga was taken back by the familiar landscapes with foreign skies. He knew the buildings, he knew the skyline, but he had never seen the stars above Tohoku like that.

“See, Suga-chan? This kind of mystery is right in front of us the whole time, our eyes just can’t comprehend it,” Oikawa grinned, reading a plaque explaining the exhibit. “Who’s to say that the things we want to write off as hoaxes don’t actually exist? Maybe we just can’t see them as we are. These photographers had to use special cameras to capture this. They just had to believe that something was there, set up the camera, and hope for the best. And look, it turned out beautiful.”

“That’s profound,” Suga stepped up next to him, skimming the plaque for himself.

“What can I say, I’m a romantic. You’re very lucky.”

“These photographers all go to our university, wouldn’t I be even luckier with them?” he teased, bumping shoulders with his date.

“Ew, no, they’re all astronomy nerds. Do you want someone to whisper physics equations in your ear during sex?”

“Haha! Right,” Suga shifted uneasily. “I have to take physics this semester and it’s the farthest thing from sexy.” His eyes drifted to the bottom of the plaque, drawn like a magnet.

_‘Tohoku University Astrology Club inquiries can be directed to the club supervisor: Professor Sawamura Daichi’_

Suga spent the rest of their time together compiling a list of things he liked about Oikawa. 

He was tall-- over 180 centimeters. He was handsome. Girls stopped to giggle at him as they walked by. Suga got a sense of pride in being the one on his arm, the envy of every girl they passed-- and a few guys too. He was charismatic-- he lit up the room and carried a smile with him for all to share. He was without peer; objectively the perfect boyfriend.

Suga had to get Sawamura out of his head.

The walk back to the bus stop provided the perfect opportunity. The observatory was surrounded by overgrown fields and tree line. It felt a bit high school, a bit like sneaking off behind the gym during training camp, but that was half the fun. 

With little more than a coy smile and a tug on his arm, Suga led Oikawa off the path and out of sight behind a thick tree.

“What is it, Suga-chan? Is this the part where you murder me and leave my— oh god.” The cocky smile on his face faltered as Suga pushed him against the tree, dropping to his knees. “W-what happened to Mr. I-Don’t-Put-Out-On-The-First-Date?”

Suga had already popped his button, fingers making fast work at undoing the zipper and pulling Oikawa’s pants down as far as he needed them. “It was an exceptionally good first date.”

Oikawa’s whimper above him gave him pause. He took a moment to look up into those wide, chocolate eyes.

“Is this okay?”

“Oh yes. Yes. Definitely yes.”

Suga grinned, pushing aside the opening in Oikawa’s briefs and pulling his length free. Oikawa looked about ready to pass out at the sight as Suga brought the tip to his lips. Still mostly soft, Suga used the opportunity to suck him down to the base, tongue exploring the ridges and veins along his underside. He could feel Oikawa lengthening under his attentions, pudge giving way to length as his head nudged the back of Suga’s throat. Suga swallowed, encouraging the invasion.

He could hear Oikawa’s labored breathing above him, the man trying to stay in control of his breathy moans. He had one hand clasped on his stomach, bunching his t-shirt up and out of Suga’s way; the other was clenched by his side, helpless. Suga reached out for the uncertain hand, gently uncurling it. Oikawa entwined their fingers together, letting his gasps become audible. Suga chuckled, nearly gagging with the effort, at the almost wholesome action before guiding Oikawa’s hand to the back of his head.

Oikawa wasted no time threading his fingers through the silver locks as if he’d been dying to card through Suga’s hair all day. Suga returned his own hands to Oikawa’s hips, rubbing encouraging circles into the soft skin just above his briefs. With a gentle yet demanding tug, Oikawa angled Suga’s head back, allowing him to rock deeper into the wet heat of his throat, forcing him to make eye contact. 

The mischievous smile in Suga’s eyes when he saw the glazed-over desperation in Oikawa’s expression sent the taller man over the edge. He brought both hands to the nape of Suga’s neck, holding himself as deep as the man can take him while he finds his release. Suga held his breath, relaxed his throat, and let himself be used. 

Oikawa’s muscles went slack as the last throb of his orgasm hit Suga’s tongue. His hands released their grip on the man’s neck, gently caressing the soft silver hair behind his ears, encouraging him to ease off his softening cock. Suga swallowed once more before complying, winning an exhausted guttural moan from Oikawa in return.

The taller man slumped against the tree, sliding down until he was seated on the ground in front of Suga. He pulled the smaller man into his arms, wordlessly securing his head against his shoulder while he struggled to catch his breath. Suga rearranged his legs to accommodate the position, letting himself be held.

Suga couldn’t help the sinking feeling that he had just made the whole situation a lot more emotionally complicated than he ever intended to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter 2! (•¯ ∀ ¯•) I currently have 11 chapters outlined and partially written.


	3. It's been so long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No interest! You just came all over yourself at the sight, Sawamura-sensei,” Oikawa turned away from him, reaching for the door handle. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from my boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is far from abandoned, there's just a lot happening in this chapter... I'll try to be better at updates moving forward!

Stars were shining overhead. Everything was perfectly pitch black save for pinpoints of light across the domed ceiling. Daichi knew he was in a crowded room-- the presence of other people securing him to this vantage point— but he couldn’t see them in the darkness. Despite the crowd, he felt the serenity of solitude under a blanket of stars that would otherwise be invisible to the naked eye. He felt free here. Rejuvenated. Young. As if all the responsibilities of being a father, a husband, a professor, a soon-to-be-divorcee fell from his shoulders in the darkness. He was just him— Sawamura Daichi— and in these precious moments he got to explore what that meant outside of her duties to other people. 

He caught a silver glow out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head, expecting the moon to be cresting the horizon of the crowd. He was met with the profile of Sugawara Koushi, pale complexion and hair standing out from the darkness of the crowd around them. It didn’t surprise him. He had a feeling that Suga had been standing next to him this whole time, that it was meant to be. Daichi savored the moment, admiring Suga’s wistful smile as the younger man admired the stars. His heart skipped a beat as hazel eyes finally came to rest on him.

The oppressing weight of the crowd cleared. It was just him and Suga in the dark theater, the Milky Way projected around them.

“What are you staring at,” Suga laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. Daichi placed his hands on slim shoulders, turning Suga to face him. His thumbs traced delicate collar bones under the soft henley. “Don’t be a sap,” but he was already leaning in.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Daichi leaned in as well, drawn in by the way Suga’s eyelashes fell against his cheeks. He could feel Suga’s hands slipping around his waist, pulling him closer. He brought a hand to starlit hair, the other securely around Suga’s shoulders, pulling him closer, anchoring him. 

Daichi took a moment to savor Suga’s kiss. He was too frenzied, too drunk, to appreciate it before. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again. He wanted to memorize that cupid’s bow. He mapped that pout with the tip of his tongue. That playful smile— Daichi wanted to be the one to kiss that smile; he wanted to own it.

Suga’s hands were pulling his shirt up his back, greedily claiming every inch of skin they could. Greed without desperation— Daichi wanted to make each moment last forever as he crowded Suga, guiding him back through the darkness until his knees hit the edge of the bed. 

This was the place Daichi could explore himself, explore what he wanted without judgement. Pure self-indulgence as a smiling Suga beckoned for him from the black sheets. Daichi very rarely let himself be selfish. He deserved this.

Soft and smooth, Suga’s skin felt better than silk against his own. There was a comforting warmth in holding another person, drinking in as much skin contact as physically possible. Daichi didn’t realize he was lonely until the void was suddenly filled. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so loved.

Suga was open for him, already spread and wet. He peppered Daichi’s neck with kisses, gasping softly as he pushed in. Daichi buried himself in one slow motion, shuddering at the feeling of Suga engulfing him, raw and vulnerable. It wasn’t like either would be seeing anyone else, no condom was needed.

Heat pooled in his stomach. Electricity rang through his limbs. Suga’s fingers chased sparks down his back. Gasps turned into wanton moans. The younger man was begging for him. He could feel Suga’s cock trapped between their stomachs, leaking and throbbing for release. 

Daichi shifted in order to work Suga’s length with his fist. He was so close; he just needed a push, a little more. He struggled to find the right angle. Suga was panting below him, muscles clenching as he chased his own climax. Tight, wet heat, the sight of the younger man splattered with mess, dripping with sweat, the perfect conditions and Daichi still couldn’t finish.

Frustrated, he finally resorted to shoving his own hand down the front of his pajama pants. The feeling of his rough palm against his cock was the first sign of waking up. Reluctantly, his dream faded into a fantasy, his hand chasing the remnants of the moment. Reality hit before his orgasm did, leaving Daichi feeling cold and alone in his own bed. He withdrew his hand with disgust. 

Starting the day with an ache in his groin was a sure start to a terrible day. Though he doubted it couldn’t be much worse than yesterday when The Object of His Affections invaded his favorite getaway only to walk away with what was apparently his boyfriend. Yesterday’s trip to the observatory was nothing short of a punch to the gut. 

Suga had a boyfriend? For how long? Were they together when— it wasn’t Daichi’s place to ask. The warmth in his chest sunk sour into his stomach.

His alarm clock rang, reminding him that his time for reflection had passed and it was time to actually start the day— Thursday, to be specific. Great. He really looked forward to standing in front of his physics class, trying to pretend like he didn’t have a wet dream about one of its attendees. Did it count as a wet dream if it ended in frustration?

Oh, and he had a meeting with Sugawara afterward. Just the two of them in his office. That sounded like a wise decision. Maybe he should award extra credit for attending study sessions. Greater attendance meant less temptation.

He made quick work of himself. A splash of water to the face, fingers through his hair to shake out his bed head (was that another gray hair he saw? dammit.), Daichi brushed his teeth for exactly two minutes before facing the real challenge of the morning:

Two daughters who did not want to go to school.

Mornings played out like a time-lapse of making a claymation movie. The girls shuffled through the house while Daichi pulled shirts over their heads and put clips in their hair. He grabbed their backpacks while they worked through their breakfasts. Akemi’s was easy enough now that she’d gotten into the habit of stacking her schoolwork neatly on the table. Yua’s took more work. After finally getting all of her papers jogged, they wouldn’t fit neatly inside her bag.

He upended the bag to remove the obstruction. Black and white construction paper confetti fluttered across the carpet. 

“Yua! What’s this?”

His younger daughter looked up from her eggs, her face instantly turning bitter at the sight of the paper. “Penguin.”

“Honey! What did you do to your penguin!” He hadn’t even gotten a chance to see his daughter’s artwork. And she had been so proud of it.

Her lip was quivering. “It doesn’t matter. No one cares.”

“Of course we do! Did you get to show Mom when you went to Grammy and Grandpa’s after school yesterday? She always loves your art.”

The answer came in Yua’s silent gasping sobs. It was her equivalent to screaming wails— gasping for breath as if she were drowning in the effort to stay quiet. 

Akemi spoke up for her. “Mom only came to Grammy and Grandpa’s just before you came to pick us up, Dad. We already had our jackets and shoes on.”

“Really. What was she— it’s not my business what she was doing. I have a meeting tonight, so you’ll be at Grammy and Grandpa’s for a little bit after school. Maybe Mom can help you make a new penguin. Then it’ll be twice as special because you made it with Mom.”

Yua nodded, still hiccuping. 

He should have taken the time to take interest in her art projects. Aya always did, and if she was trying to remove herself from the picture he’d have to step up. Guilt curdled in Daichi’s stomach. He wasn’t good enough to be a single parent. Yet here he was.

To make matters worse, Hiroto was having a fussy day. As soon as the chilled April winds hit his chubby cheeks, the screaming started. Luckily he was the first to be dropped off. Kaori did not look appreciative. Daichi anticipated the day she stopped volunteering to babysit. Probably when Hiroto stopped being a cute devil baby and turned into a walking, talking demon toddler.

At Yua’s school, Daichi tried to ignore the pitying looks of the mothers dropping off their kids. As tired as young mothers were, he doubted any of them looked as tousled as he surely did. He at least managed to catch a squirming Yua for long enough to plant a kiss on her forehead. 

“Good morning, Sawamura-san,” one of the moms gently tapped his shoulder. Shit— what was her name.

“Good morning!” He tried to grin as if he wasn’t dying inside. 

Oh, she was red in the face. Was she drunk? At this hour? She didn’t smell like it. “Mikoto has class with Akemi. I was thinking that maybe we could walk to the elementary school together?” She motioned to the little girl by her side.

Mikoto… Daichi tried to remember if Akemi ever mentioned a Mikoto. He gauged his daughter’s face for a reaction, noting her pout as she looked at her feet.

“That’s a sweet offer, thank you, but this is the only time I have one-on-one with Akemi,” he leaned in closer, watching the woman turn redder as he whispered in her ear— not drunk then— “she’s my oldest, it’s important that we spend time together.”

“Oh— oh of course Sawamura-san! That’s so sweet. You’re such a good father.” Her smile was awkward as she ushered her daughter away. Daichi let them get a good head start before following with Akemi.

“Mikoto’s dad died three years ago. Sazuki-san likes you, Dad.”

“Sazuki-san! That’s her name. How’d she find out about the divorce? Are the other kids bullying you, Akemi?”

She gave her father a quick look from haggard head to scuffed toe, “you’re not wearing your ring.”

“Oh? Oh!” Daichi blinked at his naked left hand for a moment. He hadn’t remembered taking it off. He couldn’t remember where he placed it. He hadn’t missed it. “Will you look at that.”

“And no one at school has really cared… if anything, their moms are nicer to me now. Touya’s mom brings me an extra piece of candy when she picks him up.”

Did his divorce really leave his kids in such a pitiful state that strangers are doting on them? Daichi _ really _ had to step it up. But he was already so tired.

Sazuki-san was waiting by the school gates when they arrived, Mikoto already inside. Daichi could feel her eyes on him as he kissed the top of Akemi’s head. Akemi gave the woman a nasty side-eye as she turned to enter the building. 

“Akemi-chan is a sweet girl,” the woman offered.

“She’s definitely a daddy’s girl,” he chuckled. It had been years— _ a decade _— since Daichi had flirted. Or been flirted with. Well, save for one very specific night in the recent past.

Sazuki-san had a shy smile; she was cute. She seemed like a competent adult. She’d spent the past three years as a single mother, so she must be pretty decent at budgeting and childcare.

_ Wow are my standards low. Thanks Aya. _

“Sawamura-san, if you’re not busy… would you want to grab some coffee? I don’t have to work until noon.”

_ She’s even employed. She’s basically perfect. _“I have a 10 o’clock class, I’m so sorry. Maybe another time? I typically have time on Wednesdays and Fridays.”

“Oh. I work early tomorrow. You’re a professor, right? What about Saturday, the girls could have a playdate.”

“That’s a great idea, Sazuki-san,” he smiled. “There’s a park nearby with a great hot chocolate cart-- my treat.”

“Here, here’s my number,” she awkwardly thrust a piece of paper towards him, phone number prepared in advance.

“I’ll text you,” he promised before departing. 

A playdate was a good idea. A good way to get his dating jitters out without Aya accusing him of adultery. Just two adults sitting on a bench, drinking hot chocolate, watching their kids play at the park. Sure, she didn’t inspire any fluttering in his stomach like Aya had when they first started dating, but it had been a long time since Daichi had been in love. 

The butterflies were probably dead by now.

He was too old for love, anyway. It wasn’t practical. He needed a partner by his side who was capable of parenting and general adulthood. It was his heart that led him to Aya, afterall. It couldn’t be trusted.

Sugawara woke up alone, to his great relief. He was able to stretch his limbs to every corner of the mattress, savoring the freedom. Oikawa had begged to walk him home last night, had begged for Suga to come home with him, had begged for anything that would make the date last into the morning. But Suga didn’t waiver, determined to go home alone. His efforts were rewarded by a quiet morning in his own bed.

Perfect. 

He was able to scroll on his phone for a good fifteen minutes before it was time to get up. Noya had uploaded a video of Tanaka driving a forklift entirely too fast in tight circles, the whole ensemble tilting dangerously. It was amazing neither of them had been fired yet. High school friends were showing off their successes. College friends were showing off their social lives.

Suga was waking up alone.

And now he was late for class. 

He grabbed a shirt and jeans from the floor, giving them a quick sniff test before pulling them on, and he was out the door. He could only hope that whatever he needed for the day was already in his backpack.

Shit-- his backpack.

He doubled back to grab it before sprinting to campus. His phone buzzed like crazy in his pocket as Ennoshita waited at their spot before inevitably giving up and going to class alone. Suga would text him when he got there.

Daichi-- Sawamura was still writing on the board when Suga slid into the room. He huffed a small laugh of victory, inadvertently drawing the professor’s attention. Sawamura gave him a quick look over: face flushed and chest heaving for air.

“Sugawara-san,” he turned back to the board, “just because you made it before I started the lecture doesn’t mean you weren’t late.”

“Well,” Suga attempted a cool grin between pants, “I guess that means your lecture is late too.”

Sawamura smiled, still facing the board where only Suga could see, “I suppose you’re right. From now on I’ll start earlier. I advise you to show up earlier as well.”

“It’s a deal.” Suga collapsed into the first available seat. 

It was getting easier, handling Sawamura’s presence. Suga had a front row seat to watch the man pace around the lecture hall, slacks perfectly fitted, getting himself heated over physics. It was endearing, sure, but the burning awkward heat between them had faded to a manageable level. He was going to survive this class afterall.

As class ended, Suga was quick to pack his bag. He’d promised to meet up with Oikawa so they could walk to Social Psych together. He caught Sawamura watching him.

“I’ll see you after lunch, Professor!” he waved as he darted out the door.

“How did you do that!” Suga was pulled back in the hallway as someone tugged on his backpack. He turned on his heel to see a first year staring up at him, face full of awe. “_ Everyone _ is scared of Sawamura-sensei. He’s the strictest of all the science professors. How’d you talk back to him without getting scared or yelled at?”

Suga thought back to Sawamura’s stern face when he warned Suga against even the slightest innuendo. He could see how he could be intimidating. “I think Sawamura-sensei really loves physics, so he wants us all to do our best. He’s strict because he cares. Once you understand that then he’s not so scary.”

The kid nodded thoughtfully, hand still resting on the strap of Suga’s bag. “You’re pretty cool, Sugawara-san.”

“Thanks, uhh…”

“Yamaguchi.”

“Thanks, Yamaguchi. Listen, I’m helping Sawamura-sensei start a study group. You should join us! Then you’ll see.”

The kid-- young man, Suga amended-- grinned, freckles standing out on his round cheeks. “Thank you Sugawara-san! Let me know when it is.”

“Just Suga, please. I have to meet someone, but I’ll let you know. See you later, Yamaguchi.”

He reluctantly released the backpack strap. “See you later, Suga-san.”

Suga spared him a small smile before hurrying to the exit door. He could see Oikawa silhouetted just outside, waiting for him. Tall and handsome, smiling freely, he chatted with a girl who’d gotten up the nerve to introduce herself.

“Oh, sorry, there’s my boyfriend. It was nice chatting with you Mai-chan!”

The girl’s disappointment was only rivaled by Suga’s shock. Though he played it off better than she did, draping his arms around Oikawa’s neck as the taller man pulled him by the hips. She made herself scarce before Oikawa could humiliate her further.

“Boyfriend?”

“Yes babe?” Oikawa grinned.

Suga thought about protesting, but couldn’t find a reason to. He could do a lot worse. He couldn’t see himself doing any better. The feelings would come eventually, he assured himself as he planted a kiss on Oikawa’s cheek. “We’re gonna be late for class.”

Daichi hadn’t held a study group for his class before. Typically his students helped each other; they never seemed to want to interact with him directly. Suga was different, so this semester would be different. The kid had no fear and Daichi was terrified of him. He couldn’t tutor Suga one-on-one, so gathering a study group was essential. 

But that meant spending one-on-one time with Suga in order to plan said group.

Despite the nagging sensation in his gut, Daichi couldn’t find it in him to oppose the situation. He had a date on Saturday. Suga couldn’t hold the same effect, Daichi reasoned as he tidied his office.

Time passed in anxiety as Daichi reshuffled the papers on his desk. It was ten minutes past their agreed upon meeting time when Suga finally burst in, red in the face, fresh purple mark blooming at the edge of his shirt collar.

“I thought marking was only okay if it was hidden?” 

Suga froze, eyes locking onto Daichi’s. “Your wife is very beautiful.” 

Daichi tried to smile. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “You need to work on your punctuality.”

“Sorry Professor,” Suga nodded, taking a seat. “It won’t happen again.”

“I should hope not. I’m counting on you to set an example for the rest of the class. I’m appointing you as the lead coordinator for the group. We’ll work together to determine what the study group should cover each week. I need a student’s perspective.”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“I have enough self-control for both of us if you think you won’t be able to contain yourself. Would you be able to meet with me after class? We can discuss over lunch and then have the study group during my office hours.”

“I actually have a class right after yours. And work right after this. My free time is in narrow windows. I’m free on Wednesday afternoons though.”

Daichi hesitated. Wednesdays were his free days. It was the one day a week that he got to himself, free to be self-indulgent. The girls were in school, Kaori could watch Hiroto, and he didn’t have class. If there was something he wanted, Wednesday was the day he could have it. “We can meet on Wednesday afternoons and then have study group during this time on Thursdays?”

“It’s a date,” Suga grinned. “You and I will meet on Wednesdays to plan the following day’s session.”

“I’ll make the announcement on Tuesday.”

The contented smile on Daichi’s face sent warmth through Suga’s chest. The dork really did love physics. How incredibly lame and endearing. “Well that was pretty easy. Need anything else from me?”

“When did you meet my wife?” It wasn’t the question Daichi meant to ask-- but apparently Suga had a way of making him blurt out what was on his mind.

“At the observatory, with your kid. I have to get to work.” Suga’s sunny smile iced over before Daichi could blink. The door slammed behind him, leaving Daichi alone with his reply.

Suga hated that he struggled with these feelings. It was obvious that he should embrace the heartbreak and move on, let Sawamura be just another professor. Ultimately there was no other option. Every time he thought he had finally snuffed out those feelings, he had to fall for that stupid, dorky, charming smile all over again. It was a seemingly endless cycle of heartache-- a rollercoaster ride of emotions and he was an adrenaline junkie.

Daichi had a wife and a baby. They were such a perfect smiling family. Suga’s phone vibrated in his pocket-- that’s right, he had a boyfriend.

Oikawa: Thanks for earlier ;)

Suga: You’re the king of romance, aren’t you

Oikawa: You can’t tell me “I need you right now” isn’t romantic

Oikawa: I just want to feel you, baby :’(

Suga: We can go tomorrow before lunch

Oikawa: ^^

He got to work a little earlier than intended. It was finally quieting down. He could see just a few put-backs on the cart; if he started early he might actually be able to get out with enough time to sleep.Pushing his pointless emotional turmoil aside, Suga threw himself into his work.

He’d gotten halfway through the cart when it took him to the children’s section. He wasn’t surprised to see three familiar little heads nestled in bean bag chairs. What did surprise him was the gloomy mood and soft sniffling coming from the middle child.

“Yua-chan, what’s wrong?” Suga had to resist the urge to scoop her up.

“Suga-san!” Akemi jumped out of her seat, startled out of her book. 

“Hello Akemi-chan! Is Yua okay?”

“She’s upset because she ripped up her penguin and Mom won’t help her make a new one.”

“Oh. Yua-chan, why’d you rip up your penguin?”

She uncurled herself, looking up at Suga with big teary eyes. “I got mad. Mommy didn’t want to see it, so I got mad at it. I’m sorry--” she started hiccuping.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay Yua-chan. We all get frustrated sometimes and do things we regret. Do you want me to help you make a new one?”

“Really?!”

“Yes really,” he laughed, “let me go get some construction paper, okay?”

It took a few minutes to find the appropriate materials in the dusty storage closet. Luckily it was a pretty simple color palette. Regular white printer paper, a few sheets of black construction paper, and a packet of orange sticky notes for the beak and feet. 

“Yua-chan! I’m back!” Suga sing-songed, setting down the paper and a couple of safety scissors on the table. “Alrighty, wanna teach me how to make a penguin?”

She scrambled up onto a chair. “Yeah! First we have to make a pear shape with the black paper.”

Akemi sat quietly on the other side of Suga, taking her share of the supplies while Suga passed Yua what she needed. He pulled Hiroto onto his lap, not wanting the toddler to wander off while they were crafting. 

They cut their pear shapes out of the black paper-- some more successfully than others. Akemi’s had a comedically skinny head; Yua’s looked like it had taken a club to the skull. 

Following Yua’s instructions, they carefully cut egg shapes out of the white paper for their bellies. Suga cut his too big, having to widdle it down until it was an amorphous blob on his penguin’s stomach. The girls weren’t fairing much better. By the time they got to drawing their penguin faces, Yua was tearing up again.

“It’s not as good as my old penguin,” she threw down her crayons in frustration. 

“He’s special in his own way. He’s his own penguin,” Suga tried to assure her, hand on her back.

“No! He sucks! I’m no good at art. That’s why mom doesn’t wanna play with me.”

“Hey, hey, Yua. Don’t talk like that.” Suga kept his voice firm, not pitying. He slipped the penguin out of her reach before she had the chance to punish it. “He’s a masterpiece and you should be proud of him. I love him. And look,” he set it between his own and Akemi’s, “they make such a happy family. Don’t they look good together?”

Yua sniffled, nodding. Suga grinned, hugging the two girls to his sides. “Just like you three and your dad. A family doesn’t have to look perfect to be perfect.”

“Do you have kids, Suga-san?”

He laughed, “No, Akemi-chan. I’m barely an adult. I’m nowhere near ready to have kids of my own.”

“Well _ I _think you’d be a great dad.” The pout was uncalled for, but it made Suga smile regardless.

“Only if my kids were as great as you three.”

They helped him clean up the leftover supplies. Suga picked a spot in the children’s area to hang their art, lifting each girl in turn so they could tape their works next to each other. He finished put-backs, leaving them to their reading. As always, their mother came to collect them with an air of inconvenience. They left in heavy silence. 

Someday he’d find a way to help them. He swore it. Until then he’d do his best to make this library their sanctuary.

The remainder of April flew by smoothly. Daichi and Sazuki’s Saturday playdates became a regular thing. She was nice, soft spoken, and respectful. The girls got along okay. They often didn’t want anything to do with each other, but at least they weren’t fighting. 

When Daichi got up the nerve to look into her eyes, he felt nothing but the sneaking suspicion that she was looking right through him. There was no romantic spark. Just two broken people looking for lost love in the wrong places, for another parent for their children. At least in that respect they were a match made in heaven.

The study group had grown well. They’d developed a strong weekly attendance. Working with Suga was easier than anticipated. There were moments-- subtle glances-- that stirred his gut, but they were quickly shaken off.

For Suga’s credit, he was starting to get the hang of physics. Helping others learn ended up being his strongest study tool. The class went from being the bane of his schedule to the grade he looked forward to. Part of him briefly considered becoming a physics major, but he doubted his ability to learn from the other professors. There was just something special about Daichi’s energy. His passion was infectious.

Things with Oikawa were going well. Suga still hadn’t brought him back to his apartment. He wasn’t sure why, but that level of vulnerability gave him a visceral repulsion. He spent enough nights at Oikawa’s place that the other man didn’t seem to mind. He’d introduced his boyfriend to Ennoshita. While skeptical, his friend didn’t object to their relationship. It was comfortable, even if there was an underlying suspicion that they were putting on an act. Suga just couldn’t figure out who for.

The kids came by the library a few times a week. They struck a balance that allowed Suga to get his work done while still doting on them. They knew they could run to him if needed, but respected when he needed to focus. The collection of art projects on the wall grew. Yua presented him with a new drawing on every visit. It started simply: a cat, a bird, a self-portrait.

“What is this?” He held the paper curiously, studying the five figures drawn in crayon.

“That’s Daddy, Akemi, Hiroto, me, and Suga-san!” She grinned.

As tempted as he was to point out that he’d never met her father, it felt nice to be included. He made himself a copy to take home before hanging the masterpiece on the wall. Yua begged for a copy of her own.

“Okay, but you might not want your mom to see it. I think it might hurt her feelings that she’s not in it.”

“Mom doesn’t have feelings,” Akemi scoffed.

May arrived with modest fanfare. Suga only noticed the month when his phone erupted on a Sunday morning. Oikawa moaned in his sleep, unconsciously annoyed at the intrusion. Suga quieted the device before he could even check the screen.

9:12

Sunday, May 3

1 Missed Call: Dad

He knew it was only a matter of time before the inevitable conversation came up. He closed his eyes and counted the seconds until the next vibration.

1...2...3...4...5… there it was.

9:13

Sunday, May 3

Dad: Today’s Mom’s birthday. 

Don’t forget to call her. 

She’s still upset about last year.

1 Missed Call: Dad

And she could stay upset. Suga turned off his signal, rolling over to take Oikawa into his arms. He still had an hour before he had to get up for work.

An hour passed too fast. The walk to the library seemed longer than usual, his phone burning a hole in his pocket. He could be calling her right now. He should be. He wouldn’t.

He typed out a quick “Happy birthday Mom,” hit send, then clocked into work. It would have to be good enough. 

Sundays were calm. The only patrons were desperate students who waited too long to start on their Monday assignments. They worked in a quiet frenzy. The real work wouldn’t start until the evening when piles of books would be left on every table. Suga took advantage of the lull to take out his own books. He’d been neglecting his research methods work. His advisor would kill him if his major GPA dropped.

He was deep in the Helsinki Declaration when the familiar shuffle of little feet caught his attention. The kids were never here on Sundays. Akemi had mentioned they spent weekends with their dad. But lo and behold, there was their mother, ushering them into the building, running off before anyone could tell her not to abandon her children.

Not that Suga would have scolded her. He’d rather have the kids here with him than anywhere with her. He packed up his books and moved to the children’s section. A practiced habit, the kids grabbed a couple of books each and joined him in a nest of pillows.

To be honest, it was his ideal Sunday.

Kuroo had teased him for suggesting Sunday brunch. “You’re supposed to be the token heterosexual. How’re you the one suggesting curry toast and mimosas?”

“To be fair, the mimosas were your idea. The place just so happens to have great curry and Sunday afternoon was the only time we could all meet. Also, I’m bisexual.”

“We should get together more often,” Asahi smiled, “it seems like the only time I get to see you is when we’re trying to stop Aya from robbing you blind.”

“Yeah, but convincing her to watch the kids is like pulling teeth. Which is sad because the kids seem to be enjoying their time with her. They keep going on and on about art projects they made and books they read. And get this-- they’ve been learning sign language with Hiroto! So now instead of screaming his head off, he has gestures for ‘food’ and ‘drink’ and ‘more.’ I think the separation is really strengthening the bonds between Aya and the kids. Such a relief.”

Kuroo gave him a skeptical look. “And yet she doesn’t wanna watch ‘em.”

Daichi shrugged. He’d been making excuses for Aya their whole relationship. Kuroo’s piercing gaze was a reminder. “Weekends are usually my days, she said she’d already made plans.”

“But we all know you’d drop your plans in a moment to spend more time with your kids.” Asahi gestured, roasted cherry tomato threatening to flop off of his fork.

It was true. Something didn’t feel right, Daichi just couldn’t put his finger on it. But the kids were happy. He was happy as long as his kids were happy.

“Sorry Dai, we’ll stop talking about her. Bouncing Ball entered a new partnership, did I tell you yet?”

Listening to Kuroo wax poetic about Kenma put Daichi at ease. Love existed. He could see it in Kuroo’s face-- the way he lit up whenever he thought of his boyfriend. 

Their plates were long empty, the waitress obviously annoyed at the table of men taking up her section. Daichi was relaying the latest adventures of the astrology club when Asahi’s phone went off.

“Uh oh, that’s the bad buzzer,” Kuroo chuckled.

“Bad buzzer?”

“Ah…” Asahi read the message with a wince. “One of my clients’ kids just got picked up by the police. I gotta go.”

They watched Asahi stumble off, awkwardly clutching his jacket as he wound his way through the densely packed restaurant. Daichi looked to Kuroo for answers.

“One of his clients has this kid-- nice enough kid, he doesn’t mean any harm-- but he’s loud and reckless. He’s 19 acting like he’s still in high school, so the cops are always picking him up.”

“Oh.”

“Hey, isn’t your boy-toy 19? Do you think they’re friends?”

“We should probably go--” Daichi scrambled for his own jacket. “I’ll surprise the kids by picking them up early then maybe Aya can still go to whatever she had planned.”

Kuroo was still laughing at him as they drove their separate ways.

“Oh, I dropped them off at the library.” The voice on the phone was so flippant. Detached. Daichi always made an effort not to curse Aya in front of her parents or the kids. Standing on her parent’s front doorstep listening to Aya apathetically abandon her children-- it became hard not to. 

“Daichi--” His mother-in-law’s face was lined with worry.

“Sorry for bothering you,” he bowed, pocketing his phone, and hurrying back into the night.

She chose the university library of all places. As if being at his workplace counted for something. He doubted she left any kind of emergency contact information. Anxieties and frustrations overloaded his mind as he raced into the building.

He wasn’t too familiar with the layout past the study rooms and science sections. He assumed he’d find the kids in the early education department. Aya was probably freeloading off of would-be elementary school teachers instead of paying for a legitimate daycare.It took him a moment to figure out the map before he was speed walking through the stack and rounding the corner into early education.

“Sorry for leaving them here. I know this isn’t a daycare. I thought my wife was watching them--”

What was supposed to warm his heart only broke it further. Aya didn’t do this and these were her own children. She dumped them here instead of spending time with them. They were too loud, too smelly, too demanding; they were _ children. _ But here was Suga, untouchable, unattainable, unreal Suga, with all three of them cuddled close.

The student blinked up at him, as if trying to make sure he hadn’t dozed off into a dream. “Daichi?”

“Suga.”

“Daddy!” Akemi was the first to jump up, more animated than Daichi had ever seen her around a stranger.

“Daddy--?” Suga was doubly confused.

“Hi baby,” Daichi swung her up into his arms.

Yua crossed her little arms, “where’s Mommy? It’s not time to go yet, she’ll pick us up later.”

“I’m picking you up today. Come on, I’m sure Sugawara-san has work to do.”

“But he promised we’d make origami later!”

Yua’s outburst brought Hiroto to hysterics, his tiny lungs releasing screams that echoed through the library. 

“Yua! Behave, we’re in public.”

“Hiroto, Hiroto, hey buddy, come here,” Suga was quick to scoop him up, pressing one of the toddler’s ears to his chest while pressing his palm to the other. “Shh shh shh shh…” 

Hiroto quieted to hiccups as his senses were narrowed down to Suga’s heartbeat. Daichi gawked.

“How did you--”

“He gets overstimulated.”

“You--you’re the one who’s been teaching him sign language.”

Suga nodded slowly, cautiously.

Daichi’s eyes roved over the walls, art projects hung with care. “You’re the one who’s been doing art with them.”

“Y-yes?”

“Aya’s been leaving them here all this time-- all this time I thought she was actually bonding with them, it was you.”

Suga stayed on edge, unsure if the man before him was about to snap in anger or cry. He was well aware that he should return Hiroto to his father, but he couldn’t move. He was only vaguely aware of the gentle tugging on his pant leg. 

“Suga-san?” Akemi’s sweet voice cut through the tension. Both men let their shoulders drop, turning all attention to her. “If it’s okay with our dad, can we stay for origami?”

“Of course you can. But you have to ask your father first. Remember to say please.”

Daichi was a lost cause. Two sets of puppy dog eyes turned to him in synchrony. He was vaguely aware of Yua hopping with excitement in his peripheral. There was no room for argument. “Are there enough supplies for me too?”

“Of course,” Suga laughed. Daichi immediately regretted putting himself in temptation’s way. That laugh rang through his ears-- it sounded _ right. _Luckily Akemi and Yua were all too excited to sit on either side of Suga. No one bothered clamoring for Daichi’s attention; he didn’t know who to be jealous of.

Suga pulled supplies from his backpack, spreading the paper across the desk for everyone to grab from.

Daichi would admit, his expectations were a little high. Suga’s nimble fingers looked capable of folding elegant cranes. He looked like he could have been raised in a quiet traditional home, serving tea from cast iron pots and placing stems on kenzans. A linen yukata would look right at home against his pale, delicate skin. Origami fit right into his perceived skill set.

And maybe it did, but they were working with children at the moment. Children with thick, clumsy hands. Maybe Suga was capable of folding intricate lilies, but for now Daichi would only witness hopping frogs and paper fortune tellers.

The girl’s were having a blast, though. Daichi couldn’t remember the last time they felt this at-ease. Before the separation he was always trying to defend them from Aya. Since then they’d struggled to find a new balance and routine. But this, this was fun.

The sun had started to set, bathing the library in orange light. It took some convincing, but the girls eventually helped Suga clean up and packed their things.

For Suga, it was the most at-ease he had felt letting the kids leave. He knew they were in good hands, with a parent who smiled at them and treasured them. He even had time to give them each a kiss on the forehead before they left since their mother wasn’t impatiently dragging them away.

Though he couldn’t deny the pit of jealousy in his stomach. The four of them were going home, back to that woman. She wouldn’t treat them right; he knew he could do better, so why was she the one who got to keep them?

He swallowed the ugly feeling, shooting Oikawa a text to let him know he’d be spending the night.

-

“A full two months!” Oikawa’s smile was brilliant.

Suga caught his hand, squeezing it tight. “Happy two-month-iversary.”

“Wow… this is the longest I’ve ever been in a relationship.”

“Really--” Suga had to keep down a laugh “only two months?”

“I’m a hard man to keep ahold of, Suga-chan!”

He could believe it. Drinking in his boyfriend in the vibrant spring light, Suga knew full well how many people would stoop to anything to steal him away. His linen button-up softened out what was still obviously an athletic body underneath. His dark jeans fueled the imagination. Suga gripped his hand tighter.

“And this is my first Aoba Festival with a date. Now you see why it was cruel to deny me yukata?”

“I’m sorry,” Suga nudged against Oikawa’s side. “My yukata is at my parents’ house and I can’t even afford to rent one right now.”

“Next time, promise me! Next time you’re at your parents’, make sure to grab it. I want to see my Suga-chan all dolled up.”

“Okay, fine. If I go back to my parents’, I’ll grab it.”

“You can take me with you! Parents love me.”

“Ahh… yeah. Sure.”

Food carts lined the streets as they walked further into the city, tracing the parade route to Kotodai Park. Suga stopped for takoyaki, reveling in the delight on Oikawa’s face. This was his second year living in Sendai, but he had never experienced the city like he did with Oikawa by his side.

They found a spot in the park after a good 30 minutes of searching (Oikawa insisted they had to have the perfect spot if it was Suga’s first time at the parade). Oikawa was unashamed, draping his arm around Suga’s shoulders and pulling him closer. They were both giddy with anticipation by the time the parade started. The sheer childlike delight was refreshing. Neither held back their emotion, vocalizing every exclamation as the dancers passed by.

Suga felt free. He felt drunk with joy. He and Oikawa hung off of each other, laughing and play squabbling.

“Suga-san!” The tiny voice stopped Suga in his tracks. He whipped around in Oikawa’s arms to see Akemi bounding towards him. He locked eyes with Daichi over her head. The man looked just as stunned.

“Akemi-chan! Hello!” He batted away Oikawa’s hands, suddenly very self-consious about being gay in public. He only had a moment to prepare before Akemi launched herself into his arms.

“What’re you doing here? Did you see the parade?”

“I do exist outside of the library,” he laughed. “Did you like the parade?”

“I did! I wanna be a sparrow.”

“You’re going to have to go to dance classes if you want to be in the parade when you’re older,” Daichi fought his way through the crowd, Hiroto in his arms. Behind him loomed a tall man with wild hair, Yua wrapped around his neck. Something about him felt familiar, sending chills down Suga’s spine. “Last time you tried dance classes you hated it.”

“Well the other kids were mean.”

“How could anyone be mean to you? You look like an absolute angel.” Oikawa stepped back into Suga’s sight, the only adult not holding a child, feeling a bit out of place. “Hello, I’m Oikawa.”

“Oikawa-san,” Akemi turned red in the face, “nice to meet you. I’m Akemi.”

“Hello Akemi-chan.”

Suga shifted nervously. “Oikawa, this is my physics professor, Sawamura-sensei, and his children: Akemi, Yua, and Hiroto. I’m sorry, I haven’t met you yet--”

“Kuroo,” the man had a devious smile. It took a moment for Suga to recognize him. He’d been one of the men with Daichi that night-- that night. This guy knew they had gone home together. “Nice to meet you, Suga-san. I’ve heard a lot about Dai’s star pupil.”

Well fuck.

Daichi feigned a coughing fit to excuse the redness of his face. Kuroo’s resulting hyena cackle brought a nervous smile to Suga’s face. 

“Not many psychology majors are familiar with their physics professor’s kids. I didn’t know you were that invested in physics, Suga-chan,” Oikawa eyed him suspiciously.

“I-I babysit for Sawamura-sensei’s _ wife _,” Suga emphasized. No need to be jealous. No need for suspicion. Sawamura was married and thus nothing was happening. “She drops the kids off at the library sometimes.”

“What do you think, Akemi-chan?” Oikawa flashed her his most charming smile. “Is my Suga-chan a good babysitter?”

Akemi, not easily swayed by smooth talkers, clung tighter to Suga’s neck. “Suga-san’s _ my _friend.”

“The kids love him,” Daichi stepped closer to smooth Akemi’s hair. If the motion happened to put him between Suga and Oikawa, that was just coincidence. “Though Aya shouldn’t be dropping them off at the library any more, we don’t want to disrupt your work.”

“They’re never a disruption. I have more art projects ready for them any time.”

“Well, it was nice to meet you all,” Oikawa flashed his biggest, fakest smile. “Suga-chan, Yumi from our class is over there. Let’s go say hi.”

Suga gave Akemi a big squeeze before setting her down. “Be good for your dad. I’ll see you soon, Sawamura-sensei. It was nice to meet you, Kuroo-san!” He hurried his goodbyes as Oikawa dragged him away. His gaze lingered on Kuroo’s before they disappeared into the crowd. It looked an awful lot like the man had something he wanted to say.

Daichi sighed as soon as the young couple was out of sight. He took Akemi’s hand as they walked back towards home.

“Kuroo, how do you kill butterflies?”

“I dunno… global warming?” He ran his hand through his hair, failing to brush it back into place. “If you find out how, you gotta tell me.”

“You’re lucky, though. Kenma loves you back. You’re allowed to have butterflies.”

“It’s… not Kenma.” The guilt broke across his face, sending cold chills to Daichi’s core.

“Kuroo… you wouldn’t.”

“I haven’t! I haven’t done anything. I still love Kenma, that hasn’t changed. I love him more every day! But it’s like… it’s like there’s more compartments in my heart that he can’t fill. I have… feelings for someone. They don’t detract from how I feel about Kenma, my heart’s just grown more to accommodate them.”

“So you’re saying you love more than one person.”

Kuroo buried his face in his hands. “I feel awful. Man, if Kenma knew… God, I’m disgusting.”

“Shhh sh sh shh…” Daichi did his best, placing a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder, but this wasn’t a situation he’d prepared for.

“It’s fine. It’ll be fine. I just… have to keep breaking my own heart until it’s broken for good. It’s just a crush, it’ll go away. It just sucks in the meantime.”

“That doesn’t sound healthy, Kuroo.”

“Well neither does breaking Kenma’s heart. Hurting Kenma is the worst thing I could ever do, so that’s not even an option.”

They completed the rest of their trek in silence, save for responding to Yua’s spontaneous questions. Love was supposed to get easier when you were older. They were supposed to have this figured out by now.

It just kept getting worse.

-

It was getting rare for Suga to wake up in his own bed. He didn’t think he’d be as sucked into a relationship as he was. It was nice to have a person. It was nice to be someone’s priority, to know you wouldn’t have to go out to eat or see a movie alone. If only Suga could shrug off one inconvenience, it would be perfect: he didn’t love Oikawa.

But this was fine for now. He still hadn’t invited his boyfriend back to his apartment, so the space was still an Oikawa-free zone. Suga wasn’t about to let a just-for-fun-not-for-love relationship leave traces in his personal space. He was still trying to get over the phantoms of the last man to stumble into his bed.

As May progressed, their three month anniversary drew nearer. Three months. A quarter of a year. That’s when it felt official. A pit of worry sat in Suga’s stomach, but he didn’t have any reason to break it off yet. Might as well stay together.

May slipped into June without objection. Oikawa insisted on holding hands as they strode across campus. He was especially aggressive when picking Suga up from physics, making sure their relationship was obvious to everyone in the class. Suga had to stop him from joining their study group. 

Despite his sunny disposition, Suga had a sinking feeling that Oikawa knew exactly what happened between him and Sawamura. He could almost confirm his suspicions with the look Oikawa shot the professor when picking him up.

“Suga-chan!” His sing-song cheer quickly covered up his malice as he slung an arm across Suga’s shoulders. “Guess what’s on campus!”

“The takoyaki food truck? Or the one with the Italian gelato?”

“Not quite. It’s June, pride month, so the testing bus is gonna be here all afternoon. Come on, Suga-chan,” he pulled his boyfriend close, “if we get tested we can ditch the condoms.”

“Hmmmhm. You’re gonna have to be a gentleman and buy me gelato first.”

Oikawa’s celebratory skip was endearing. Suga couldn’t deny that the man brought a smile to his face every day. He kissed him a little deeper than usual before they ducked into their next class together. Neither of them could focus on the lesson, legs staying pressed against each other, anticipation building in the heat between their bodies. The professor had barely dismissed them when the two raced through the door. 

The paperwork was more grueling than the test. Suga knew he’d played it safe, but his anxiety increased with every question and consent form. He stole glances at Oikawa. The man looked as confident as ever. The nurse collected their forms, swabbed their gums, and dismissed them.

“It’ll take about 20 minutes for results. We’ll text you to come back when they’re ready.”

“Come on, Suga-chan, I owe you gelato for lunch.”

Fifteen minutes later, Daichi stepped off of the bus with his results in hand. He wasn’t too worried. He’d only slept with one person for the past decade. Oh, and also Sugawara. While he had trouble recalling that night, he was pretty sure he didn’t have to worry about Sugawara. 

The results held a different weight for Daichi: it was his first step to getting back into the dating scene. Having this test, holding these results, he was opening himself up to having sex with people other than Aya. He had to admit he was scared. Most would expect a 30-year-old man to have experience and “game.” He felt as naive and awkward as a teenager. These results were his sexual rebirth.

He didn’t want his students or colleagues to see his results. He’d shared enough of his sexual history with enough of his students. Down the hall from his office was a seldomly used bathroom. No one wanted to venture this far into the building’s basement. Most didn’t even know there was a bathroom down there. He locked himself into a stall for extra measure.

He’d just torn the top of the envelope open when the bathroom door slammed open. Two voices echoed through the otherwise empty bathroom, laughing and kissing, giddy and mischievous. Daichi held his breath until the couple entered the stall next to him, one of the men slamming his back against the wall.

He had to get out of there. He opened the stall door carefully so as to not make a sound.

“Fuck-- Toru--”

He _ really _ had to get out of there. He knew that voice all too well.

The swinging of his stall door went unnoticed, but the sight that met him in the mirror stopped him in his tracks.

Sugawara’s face was buried in the man’s shoulder, hidden from view. The man-- Oikawa, Daichi recalled-- caught Daichi’s eyes in their reflection. Any normal person would have slammed the stall door shut in embarrassment. Oikawa just smirked, daring Daichi to stay put. As if under his spell, Daichi obeyed, sinking back into the stall. 

He let his eyes drift across Suga. The silver-haired man had his legs wrapped around Oikawa’s waist, back pressed against the wall. Oikawa brought a hand to cup the back of his head, keeping his face hidden from Daichi. His other hand pushed down the back of Suga’s jeans, fingers already coaxing him open.

The cool confidence radiating off of Oikawa filled Daichi with envy. He doubted his ability to ever reduce a man to the whimpering, desperate mess Suga was and Oikawa was at least eight years his junior. He doubted this was an appropriate time to be taking notes, but if he knew what Suga liked…

“You’ve been such a good boy for me, haven’t you Koushi. Aren’t you my good boy?”

“Ahhh, yes! Yes I’m your good boy! Toru please--”

“You opened up so quickly for me. Why is that?”

“Because I want you-- I want you so bad!”

Oikawa slipped another finger into Suga’s hole, pulling forth a low moan. His eyes locked onto Daichi’s, holding his attention captive. “Should I put on a condom? Or do you want me to breed you like a bitch?”

“Breed me, please Toru, please--”

The throbbing in his slacks was getting to be too much for Daichi to ignore. Without breaking eye contact with Oikawa, he mirrored the younger man as they both unzipped their pants and released their cocks. Daichi tried not to notice that Oikawa was longer than him, gripping himself to prove that he made it up in girth.

One… two… three strokes in unison. Oikawa lined himself up, smearing precome across Suga’s hole. Daichi shivered as he watched him breech Suga. Oikawa’s eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. 

Jealousy flared in Daichi’s stomach, hot as arousal. He was there first. Suga was his. Suga would be his. Even as Oikawa moved at a desperate pace, marking Suga as his, Daichi stroked himself to the thought of reclaiming the younger man.

Suga’s screams of ecstasy echoed across the room as Oikawa fucked him raw. Daichi resolved to make him scream louder. Wet streaks of come stained Suga’s tee shirt as he came untouched, quivering in Oikawa’s arms. More-- Daichi wanted more. The aftershocks of Suga’s orgasm sent Oikawa over the edge. Thick drops of come dribbled out of Suga as Oikawa emptied himself inside of him. 

Daichi could barely wait to fuck it all out of him, reclaim him, mark him, breed him-- the feral jealousy had him coming before he was prepared for it. No time to aim for the toilet, Daichi made a mess of the floor, drops splattering the front of his slacks. The unexpected orgasm left him dizzy, slamming the door to the stall shut so he could sit back and breathe.

“Shit-- is someone here?” Suga was gasping for breath.

“They didn’t see us,” Oikawa whispered, lowering Suga’s feet back to the floor. “Here, let’s get you cleaned up and we’ll slip out before they’re done.”

Daichi mentally followed their progress. The crumble of toilet paper, the flush of the toilet, washing up at the sinks, the sound of the door hinges. When he was sure he was alone, he cleaned himself and the floor as best he could. He opened the door to the stall.

Oikawa was waiting for him, arms crossed, smirking like the devil. “My boyfriend had to get to class, but I figured I’d wait up for you.”

Daichi cleared his throat. “Please, Oikawa-san, if--”

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Oikawa laughed at him “I just think it’s interesting that upright Sawamura-Sensei jerks off to my boyfriend getting rawed. I was wondering why Suga-chan had such a passion for physics. I guess it’s because Sensei wants to fuck the teacher’s pet.”

“I have no interest in--”

“No interest! You just came all over yourself at the sight, Sawamura-sensei,” Oikawa turned away from him, reaching for the door handle. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from my boyfriend.”

Daichi stood helpless, unopened results forgotten in his pocket, as the door slammed in his face.


End file.
